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Ah, men and their manly hobbies. Most are expensive, time consuming and ultimate relationship killers. Here's jus t a few my ex decide he just had to try…
Beekeeping... Even though my ex is deathly allergic to bees, and most other insects for that matter, he decided to try beekeeping. Said we could retire on the money made from the honey. It didn't matter to him at the time that we did not have health insurance and lived in an apartment that didn't allow you to keep pets.
After several "bee sting" trips to the hospital and complaints from the neighbors, we had to pay an exterminator to humanely remove the bees. He made a fortune selling them to a breeder and we still have several law suits pending in circuit court for medical bills, both ours and from the neighbors whose children were in the wrong place at the wrong time. Definitely pays to know what you are doing!
Next Came Fly Fishing... Or more accurately, fly tying. After my ex came out of his anaphylactic shock induced coma from the bee stings, he had some down time and thought he could make his fortune tying flies and selling them to local fishermen. Only problem was his poor eyesight ( couldn't afford glasses, no insurance remember?) and the fact that the nearest body of water with even the remotest possibility of having any fish in it was more than 100 miles away.
We spent a fortune on band aids for the obvious fish hook mishaps and aspirin for the migraines he developed from squinting all day...flys are terribly tiny and he didn't realize or think to use any of the hundreds of magnifying glasses available for the sole purpose of tying flies.
He never got around to actually selling or using any of the darned things. He stuck a few in his "fishing hat" and sold it at a garage sale for a dollar so he counts this venture as somewhat of a success.
Then There Was Backpacking... As my ex began to recover feeling in his lower extremities (see proceeding comments about beekeeping accident) he though it best if he get himself in peak physical condition for his next conquest. Now you would think that backpacking would have been the least expensive of his endless string of hobbies, but in fact, it was the most expensive. There were the hiking shoes, the designer backpack, the camping gear, pocket knife, compass and other necessary odds and ends.
By the time he had packed everything he needed to go hiking in his backpack, he couldn't even lift the darned thing. So, he bought a dog to carry it for him. Well, actually it was a $600 dollar Alaskan Malamute puppy. It took six months and hundreds of dollars in food and chewed furniture before the dog was strong enough to carry such a heavy load. He ran away the night before my husbands long awaited hiking expedition..I don't blame him!
Model Trains?... The kids will love them, he argued. I wasn't sure how a one year old or even our three year old daughter was supposed to get any enjoyment out of watching their daddy make a huge mess slopping plaster of paris about, or gluing his fingers together putting together little plastic train station buildings, but I let him do it in hopes of him finally succeeding at something, at anything.
It wasn't until he shocked himself while trying to wire one of his little houses that I thought the kids could be in actual danger and I prohibited them from spending time "helping daddy". What I originally thought was plaster of paris was actually flour and water, to cut cost, and soon began to mold down in our damp basement. The smell was awful and we had to pay a couple of teenagers to yank the thing out and throw it away.
The kids never did get to see the trains run like their daddy had promised. Be careful what you tell your kids, their memories are a lot better than yours and they hold you to EVERYTHING!
Next Up Was Bonsai Gardening... No, I have no idea where he came up with the notion that I would actually enjoy this type of thing and that it would strengthen our relationship if we were to do it together. Said we could also make a killing selling these little "money" trees on ebay.
Just because your father fought the Japanese in World War II, doesn't mean you have a gift for Bonsai gardening. At least that's what I told my ex. I can see the therapeutic value and serenity one could achieve IF they had the patience for such a thing. Which, of course he did not.
This was by far his shortest lived hobby. Secretly, however, I took up the art of Bonsai sculpture and get many hours of enjoyment every week. He was absolutely right about them being "money" trees also. I've made a good chunk of change selling them at fairs and on the Internet. You can to!
Okay, Here's The One That Stuck... Beer making. It saved us an absolute fortune! I figured that anything someone drinks by the gallon has to be less expensive to produce yourself than to buy at the supermarket... and it was.
Although drinking beer is not necessarily a hobby I would choose for my husband, I can't argue the fact that brewing it is a fun and rewarding thing to do. For about six dollars a gallon, you can make wonderful tasting beer right in your own home, and make some money doing it.
My ex was always to drunk to follow through with any type of business plan and drank most of what would have been the profits anyway, but anyone with a bit of self control can make an absolute killing selling your own beer.
Make sure you check with local, state and federal laws before doing so though.
And there you have it. Is it any wonder at all we are still not together? Can you blame me?
I have nothing against these hobbies, and in fact, I encourage you to try them. But do your research and learn everything you can before wasting your hard earned money and countless hours in fruitless pursuit. Knowledge could also save your marriage and in that spirit, I have listed the best guides to mastering and profiting from these unique hobbies at http://www.grapevineassociatesinc.com/uniquehobbies
For a list of the best guides for the unique hobbies detailed in this article, go to http://www.grapevineassociatesinc.com/uniquehobbies. Myla Madson is the founder of the popular women's website http://www.abrandnewyou.org
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