Unhappy people are usually unhappy because they have not
mastered the ability to be happy within themselves. Therefore, they may try and
gain happiness/pleasure through others no matter what that entails. Don't get
confused with my usage of unhappiness and then compare it to depression because
they are two different things. This article is about unhappy people - not
depressed people.
An unhappy person often uses others to get what they need
out of life. At first this may work, but after a while the relationship begins
to experience problems because their partner cannot tolerate the life getting
literally sucked out of them. This kind of needy and spongy behavior is what
the medical and psychiatric establishments like to call, "codependency".
There is nothing really wrong with these kinds of people,
except for the fact they need to come out of their selfishness, grow up, be
accountable and take responsibility for their own happiness. Unfortunately when
certain establishments coin codependency as some life long emotional problem,
people don't take responsibility for their behavior. For them it's always
someone else's fault why they drink, why they look at porn, why they do drugs,
why they have an anger management problem, why they feel like the whole world
owes them a favor, and why they continue to live a bitter filled existence.
"Realize that true happiness lies within you. Waste no
time and effort searching for peace and contentment and joy in the world
outside. Remember that there is no happiness in having or in getting, but only
in giving. Reach out. Share. Smile. Hug. Happiness is a perfume you cannot pour
on others without getting a few drops on yourself." -- Og Mandino
The problem begins when the unhappy person does not get all
of their needs and desires met through someone else and believe they are
unhappy because of the person they married. But in actuality nothing is further
from the truth. Unhappy and bitter people have made an addiction for themselves
– they have a compulsion to wallow in their misery. They are stuck inside of
their discontent and bitter heart and can't get out, no matter how much they
continue to use and abuse others for happiness.
The miserable person may even seem jovial to others on the
outside – they go to work every day, take care of their families, and seem to
have a normal life, but on the inside something is amiss with these unhappy,
bitter folks. They often complain about others, and try and control any one
they can to get their needs and desires met. But marriage, and any relationship
for that matter, cannot stand up under such abuse and the marriage usually ends
in divorce.
So, what can an unhappy person do to help themselves out of
their misery? First off the unhappy person should realize that happiness does
not grow on trees – you cannot get happiness through others. You are hurting so
many people in the process of creating happiness for yourself and that is very
wrong.
Happiness is found within the person you are – you master happiness
for yourself, once you master the art of connecting with your Creator. If your
connection is faulty so will be the person you can be – the whole and complete
person you were created to become. Happiness is made through building up your
spiritual connection with God. God gives us everything we need to sustain
ourselves with. If you have made room in your heart for His wisdom, knowledge
and love, then you will find happiness within.
Jesus said, "Until now you have not asked for anything in my
name. Ask and you shall receive, and your JOY will be complete." (John 16:24
NIV)
***
Angie Lewis is the author of four marriage books offering marriage tips and wisdom filled answers tackling such issues as addiction, adultery, pornography, emotions, beliefs, forgiveness, communication and much, much more.
Adultery Pandemic is Angie's latest book. Turn Your Marriage Into A Success! If you want to restore your marriage from the demoralizing effects of adultery, then look no further - this is the book for you!
Your Marriage Can Be Restored!
A treasure book filled with effective guidance for your marriage from forgiveness and trust to recommitting your lives to each other again. Practical and easy-to-read, this book combines the solutions and remedies your marriage needs towards recovery. This book will give you the guidance you need to discover the true secrets to a happy, lifelong marriage.
To preview these books go here: http://www.lulu.com/AngieLewis/
Marriage Resources-http://www.heavenministries.com/
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