According to family legend, my great-grandfather George died of a broken heart. His wife, my great-grandmother Theodora, died of a broken heart as well. They were both in their forties.
In the early 1900's, Theodora and George fled from their home in Turkey to escape what has been called the "Asia Minor Holocaust" which involved the killing of millions of Armenians and Greeks residing in Turkey. Once safe in Greece, George (a doctor) volunteered his time in refugee camps, where typhoid and other diseases ran rampant. When his son went into a coma due to typhoid, George sat by his son's beside every night. One night George thought he saw blood in his son's bedpan, a sure sign that his son would die soon. Within hours after seeing the blood, George died of a stroke.
Within forty days, his wife, my great-grandmother Theodora, was dead also. Neither George or Theodora died from typhoid or any other illness. As family folklore has it, they died of grief.
As a child, I believed these family stories of deep love and loss. But as I grew older, I became skeptical of family folklore which linked emotions and health. The body was one thing, the emotions another. It was only my old-fashioned relatives who believed such unscientific overly dramatic ideas.However, recent medical research has revealed that emotions, especially grief and stress, can literally make you sick or even kill you. It used to be believed that the immune system was autonomous and had a mind of its own. However today's high powered microscopes reveal that our immune system and our brain are closely connected by nerve fibers. Consequently,
parts of the brain involved with emotion can affect our immune system, our digestive system, our hearts and our lungs through the complex action of neuropeptides and of various neurotransmitters.
Every time we have an emotion, a cascade of neurochemicals is released throughout our body, some of which directly affect our health. For example, our limbic system, the emotion center of our brain, is linked to the part of our brain that controls our heart rate. Repeated stimulation of this part of the brain due to intense negative emotions and stress can lead to cardiac arrest and other heart problems. So can repeated surges of adrenalin, which are triggered by danger or just ordinary stress.
The loss of a loved one, living under constant stress, or undergoing a trauma, such as car accident, mugging, rape, fire or flood, can make you susceptible to many illnesses, such as viral infections. Study after study shows that people who have or have had major stresses in their lives, tend to have more health problems than persons who have been lucky enough to escape such situations.
Research recent studies have found that
* among the widowed, the risk of death doubled the week after the death of the spouse and the risk for cancer increased for the year immediately following the bereavement;
* people who feel isolated and lonely or who live under constant emotional stress are three to five times more likely to suffer a premature death than those who feel cared about or who report little emotional stress;
***data from WW2, Korean, and Vietnam veterans all show the same thing: the rate of heart disease, strokes, diabetes and other serious illnesses are higher among men who endured the stress of battle than those who did not;
***two of the leading causes of death among firefighters are heart attacks and strokes at the scene of the fire.
Even the stresses of everyday life can hurt your health. For example, a recent study of accountants with usually normal blood cholesterol and clotting showed that around April 15th, the date most accountants are overwhelmed with IRS work, their cholesterol and clotting levels rose to dangerously high levels. The levels return to normal after the IRS rush has subsided. When experiencing stress, especially anger, the body tends to retain excess sodium and fluids, which, together with the constriction of muscle walls of the arteries, increases blood pressure.
So today, I try (notice I said "I try") to pay attention to my emotions, not just to have a happier, more satisfying life, but to save it. Today I have choices: I can spend time going for a walk, or talking to a friend (another proven stress reliever) or spend many more times that amount of time waiting in a doctor's office a few years down the road. I can spend money on aerobics classes, on vitamins, or on some small item that brings me a little joy or spend a many times that amount on doctor bills ten years from now.
If you are under stress now, or have been in the past, one way to grow stronger is to have a complete medical exam and take care of any physical problem you might be neglecting. This might sound like ordinary "grandmother" type advice. But in my twenty-five years of counseling I have found that despite all the media attention to health issues, many of my clients (especially the men) are reluctant to take the time to take care of their health. They want to talk about their love life or their crazy boss, but I urge them to look at first things first: their physical health.
The ancient Greeks believed in a sound mind in a sound body. Taking care of one involves taking care of the other.
Just for today, can you can take one small step towards improving your emotional or physical health? It could be exercise, meditation, reading a favorite book, spending time with people or pets whom you love, listening to music, or taking a nap. It doesn't matter what you do, as long you don't harm yourself, any other living being or property. You don't have to do anything fancy, expensive, complicated or new. Start with something which has worked for you in the past. Make a commitment to take this small step repeatedly, for a limited amount of time, like one week. Then, after a week, evaluate whether taking that step was beneficial.
Even when it seems that the fates have conspired against you to keep you frustrated and unhappy in your love life or on the job (or both !), you will feel empowered when you take some action on your own behalf. No matter what kind of financial or emotional stress you are under, there is always something you can do to make your life better, even if it is simply cleaning your room, drinking more water or saying "no" to an unwanted request. Just taking a few deep breaths sends electrical signals to your brain to relax your muscles, which can reduce your blood pressure and the stress on your heart.
A journey of a thousand miles must begin with a single step.
Lao-Tzu, Tao Te Ching
For additional articles and information on stress and emotion and related topics, such as depression, guilt, trauma, finding good mental health care, and books by the author,visit
www.matsakis.com and
www.backfromthefront.org .
