Golf Clubs, $750.00 - Golf Shoes, $95.00 - Pink Golf Balls, $35.00... The look on my husbands face when I walked into his country club to join him for a round of golf… Priceless!
Golf for women, Ladies golf…female golf?
I don't know, it just doesn't sound right. Especially if you're a man, or more to the point, a husband or boyfriend who just got asked the last question he ever in his life wanted to hear. No, it's not when are you going to ask me to marry you, it's, can I play golf with you?
I know of no better punishment for your misbehaving man than to infringe on his time honored tradition of a round of golf. Twenty one million men play at least one round of golf every year. Nearly 80% of them can't break 90.
That means they are pretty bad golfers ladies so they aren't doing it for the satisfaction of playing well. In fact, they can get pretty steamed when the ball isn't rolling right and I've heard tale or two of otherwise civil men tossing their thousand dollar set of clubs in the lake in a fit of rage.
Sad to think they would rather go through that then to spend an afternoon with us, huh?
Now, every once in a while, a man is gifted at birth with certain skills including above average eye hand coordination and can actually get pretty good at this stupid little game. Nothing irritates a better than average golfer more than all those eighty percenters out there hacking up the course and slowing things down, getting him out of his rhythm, or groove. Nothing that is, except perhaps when the little lady wants to tag along and learn how to play golf so they can spend more time together.
I hope you ladies out there realize all this and are outsmarting them at their own game. I would imagine that perhaps there are quite a few of us who have no desire what so ever to go chasing a little white ball around in the hot sun for four or five hours. We simply get pleasure out of seeing our man squirm, giving every excuse in the book as to why we can't join them.
My ex used to tell me that you can't learn out on the course, that it wouldn't be fair to other golfers. I'd stomp my foot and say that if I paid my money just like they did, well they can just hold their britches while I take as many swings as necessary to get the ball in the hole. Man would he get irritated!
I'd force him to take me to the driving range where I would commence to hitting the ball in every direction imaginable…actually broke a car window one time. Once I caught up with my husband I forced him to go back and leave a note on the windshield. That three hundred lesson was not soon forgotten.
Anyway, I like to think that if more women held their men hostage with the threat of wanting to play golf with them, we'd probably have a female president by now.
The only thing I could possibly imagine that would irritate him more is if you were to actually beat him at a round of golf. I had a friend who did just that. She took private lessons and practiced while her husband was at work and then went out and humiliated him to death right there on that sacred ground they call a golf course.
I've actually picked the sport up recently and I have to say, it's not half bad. I wear my little golf skirt and prance around in the most ridiculous manner, but the guy's love it. The one's that don't have their wives or girlfriends tagging along at least.
I read a great book on golf, just for ladies and you can get a copy at my website. There's also a picture of three young studs showing off for the camera that you just HAVE to see. Make sure the husband's not around though, they get all fired up about that kind of thing to! Another story for another day I guess.
Oh well, see you on the course.
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