Taking drugs is your choice, but before you make that choice...
Let me tell you about my mate Jenny
Jenny was a bright breezy Scottish lassie, 21 yrs old, tall, slim, and smooth skin, blue eyes that sparkled, always too much black mascara. We called her spider eyes! Her hair was a mass of curly auburn locks. With her vibrant personality, she was a magnet for the men. Women enjoyed her company too, she had a sharp wit and was very energetic, and nothing fazed her. She was supremely confident and had any room in any club we went to at her mercy.
That year was THE year, the year in our lives we all remember. Free times, fun times.
Jenny had experimented with ecstasy in the past, but was not a frequent user, but when an ex-boyfriend who was a frequent user moved to town, she took it up again. She went from a quarter of a tab to 7 tabs in a matter of weeks.
Her skin started to look grey, her hair was matted and dull, thinning and worse, her beautiful smile turned to a scowl. She messed up her apartment is some after drug strop. She turned against her drug free pals in favour of those using harder stuff. She even started stealing from those around her. But she didn't care, she was big and hard and being ‘cool'. Her fellow drug addicts thought she was terrific. She stole for them lied for them and in return they supplied her with harder drugs.
She thought they were so cool. No one messed about with them.
They were popular too, had people knocking their door all hours of the day and night and they always had money in their pockets.
Jenny started to look thin and pale. She had her hair braided, but the braids were more like rats tails. The only trace of the old Jenny was her spider eyes. Lashings of black mascara.
Once Jenny was on ecstasy and sitting listlessly in the corner of the club.
"Come dance" I asked hoping to see some of that old Jenny sparkle,
"No" she replied "I'm having great time here". I looked at her arched back, her head drooped to her knees.
"Yeh sure", I said and went for a boogie.
A little later she livened up. Another tab perhaps? She was in love with the dance floor and everyone on it. She thrashed wildly to the beat of the music and hugged everyone in reach. They hugged her back. She was particularly taken by a guy we knew called Peter. Peter wasn't great with the ladies. He wasn't very attractive and he wasn't very nice. But this night Jenny thought he was gorgeous.
She kissed him passionately on the dance floor and as he stood like a lamb in the headlights she proceeded to maul him. "Get a room!" we shouted.
Jenny took him back to her place. 15 mins later he returned to the club alone. Jenny wasn't harmed; she'd had fun, the best sex of her life.
Protection? Nooooo she was in love that night, she wanted his babies. Had one too.
Years on, Jenny was off the party drugs. That year was just a phase in her life that she went through. She has no regrets. She's still taking drugs though, antidepressants for her anxiety and phobia's. Something she developed later in life. I can't help but wonder if her fears and phobias and night terrors are the result of those crazy months of drug use. She was such a confident dazzling creature before the drugs. Nothing bothered her. She was such a foxy fighter.
Those that know her now think she's fine. They have their own problems too busy to pay heed to hers. Plus they never knew the old Jenny, the lively vibrant Jenny before drugs. They'd only known the quiet slightly withdrawn sometimes-neurotic Jenny. The Jenny that holds down a regular job worries endlessly what people think of her at work and if her hair is falling out. She's still a good laugh down at the pub, if she has a lot of alcohol that is.
Neither she nor they can see what I see and that is the before, during and after drugs Jenny.
Ask Jenny about that year, she'll tell you it was mental, it was great, she had a few regrets re the father of her first child but aside from that she was young and carefree and that's what being young is about right? Sometimes she fancies trying drugs again. The pull never quite goes away especially when life gets too much, escapism from reality becomes attractive again.
I suggest to her that her latest mental health problems may be related to that period. Jenny looks at me; she can't deny it's possible. She wants to though. She is sad for a moment.
No one wants to know they've made their life difficult for a few short bursts of unreality. We all have to live in the moment after all. Being 40 is no different to being 20 as you are there in the moment just as you are at 20.
Jenny spent how much money so she could have sex with an ugly bloke? Drugs were more expensive back then. You couldn't buy them with your pocket money!
Jenny spent how much so she could sit hunched in the corner of the club imagining she was having a great time. Heck before ecstasy she really did have great time! We all did!
She's still my mate though, my mate Jenny.
Choices that you make today will affect your future.
Think about tomorrow when making decisions today as tomorrow isn't all that far away.
Youtube videos of people high on ecstacy - it ain't pretty!
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Simple science we can all relate to
You take antibiotics too long and the body becomes immune to them
You take pain killers too long and your body stops producing natural pain killing endorphines
You take recreational drugs that affect the seratonin production levels in the brain and your brain will reduce natural production of seratonin.
http://www.irishscientist.ie/2004/contents.asp?contentxml=04isp93a.xml&contentxsl=is04pages.xsl
http://www.bygirlsforgirls.org/2002/depression.html
"Ecstasy is another drug that is known for causing depression or depressive symptoms. The reason for this is fairly complicated. MDMA works in releasing large amounts of serotonin. Serotonin is a chemical in the brain that causes mood elevation and happiness. This is one of the chemicals that make it possible for you to feel happy. But when released in large amounts it causes the "ecstasy mood elevation" as well as feelings of empathy, self-acceptance and emotional closeness with so many people. Which is what so many people find rewarding about the drug. But in releasing large amounts of serotonin, MDMA also depletes the brain supply and it takes some time for the brain to replenish what it has lost. Which is why after someone does ecstasy they feel very depressed; they do not have enough serotonin to make them happy. If used repeatedly, the depletion of serotonin in the brain can cause severe long lasting depression."
