A few years back, my ex thought it would be hilarious to dress up as a cigar for Halloween.
This was shortly after the whole Bill Clinton, Monica Lewinski thing blew up all over the news and he thought people would no doubt make the connection. I asked if I should wear a semen stained dress and he thought that it would not be appropriate, idiot.
I was joking about the dress of course, sarcastically poking fun of his cigar idea. How he thought putting a cigar in a woman's vagina in the Oval office could be deemed appropriate in any sense of the word is beyond me. Perhaps it's the fact that he is a Pig, much like Clinton himself.
Anyway, we go to this party some friends had invited us to and people are not making the connection at all. He has to explain to everyone why he's dressed the way that he is. I'll for once give the man a little credit and say that the need for explanation was not in his creativity, but was in the fact that this was not a costume party!
Needless to say, I'm embarrassed and upset..and dressed like a Playboy Bunny on top of it all, and I just want to go home. Not the ex. Not when there's an open bar. For free alcohol he's willing to stand in a room full of party goers, dressed like a cigar, trying to convince everyone just how clever he is.
So I left him there. Yep, went right home and did not come back. He had to take a cab, and in that outfit, even he was embarrassed. My ex never hit me during our marriage, but I believe he seriously considered it that evening especially after I also locked him out of the apartment.
Eventually I let him in and he did apologize, but it wasn't sincere. You see, he had gotten himself all worked up over the idea of using a cigar as a "play thing" and had actually brought one home in hopes of using it on me!
Did I mention my ex-husband is a pig?
You see, it's these sort of things that happened more often than you would think in our marriage that finally made me call it quits...He wants to put that cigar where? Yo have got to be kidding, right?
Anyway, I saved that cigar for when ever I need to be reminded of just how this man thinks, should I ever have a moment of weakness and consider allowing him back into my life. I would recommend this idea to any woman out there who knows their heart as I do and needs something solid to hold onto to keep fighting the good fight.
And no, I never used the cigar out of curiosity. I know some of my ex-husbands readers sometimes mistakingly find their way to my editorials and instead of getting the true lesson from this story, their mind is in the gutter somewhere applauding the Chief pig himself.
» left by April Lorier(5,781) April Lorier (194 days 14 hours ago.)
Oh, Myla. I write a blog called "Inspiration and Encouragement from The Drama Queen and The King of Kings." Honey, you've got this ole' Drama Queen beat by a ten-mile stretch. I love your acerbic humor. Respond to this comment
» left by Myla Madson(2,336) Myla Madson (194 days 13 hours ago.)
As soon as I find out what acerbic means I'll know whether to take your comment as a compliment or not...ha-ha. Can't wait to check out your blog, I just LOVE drama!! If you get the chance you can check out my new site all about me at mylamadson It's not quite done yet but I'm hoping it will be just full of acerbic humor! lol myla Respond to this comment
» left by James P Krehbiel(1,391) James P Krehbiel (69 days 6 hours ago.)
Myla, Just caught this one! YOU ONLY GOT A THREE RATING. Points taken off for moral turpitude. How's that for a big word. What's the problem here, this is a classic. I'll bet you could sell that cigar on ebay and make a fortune! Must have been some party. Wish I could have been there. LOL Peace
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