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Home » Categories » Personal » Love & Romance » Men Like Women Who Need Them ….but What If We Don’t? » Reprint Rights » Printer Friendly

Leah Leah Gray - Illustrator (13,994)
Leah Gray - Illustrator

Men Like Women Who Need Them ….but What If We Don’t?

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Submitted Monday, February 25, 2008
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Men do like women who need them but women like men who need them too so why the emphasis on men?

It is more widely understood that men need women, it is an accepted norm. They need us for nocturnal pursuits as well as replacing the duties of their mothers. Women generally accept this as their role even in this modern world of equality.

But women on the other hand are increasingly less obviously in need of men.

Is this a new phenomenon borne of absent fathers and the rise in feminism I wonder? Undoubtedly a bit of both.

I know that my fierce sense of independence arose due to an absent father, and the fact that all the caretakers, doers and shakers in my family were females. I watched my mother repair the dent in her car; I watched her paper walls, lay carpet. She also pushed me towards independence by making me do things myself from a very early age. I was never pampered or cared for in the way that I know my friends were.

I never resented this, I was capable of doing the things I did and my mother as a single parent needed all the help she could get. My brother and I were trimming hedges and mowing lawns as soon as we were strong enough and tall enough to manage the shears and mower!

How did I know that what I always regarded as a good trait – being self-sufficient could turn into a negative for the men in my life. That while still desiring me they would feel inadequate unfulfilled and not needed.

As a child of a single female parent, I didn't have the benefit of seeing how this male female ‘need' dynamic worked. I didn't know that the men while admiring my efforts would have preferred me to be just a little bit blonde, just a little bit helpless.

So how do I and women like me turn this around so that the men in our lives are not left feeling inadequate? How do we convey to them that we do ‘need' them, despite the things we can achieve on our own?

I know I need a man with better DIY skills than me, I know I need cuddles, protection and support. I don't demonstrate this need though. I always regarded any sign of ‘need' as a weakness. I shall reluctantly, but for the sake of the men in my life, turn this around.

We all need to feel needed, whether it is by our children, our employer, our customers or our partners. It's about having a sense of purpose, a sense of self worth and feeling that you are contributing to the quality of someone else's life.

So if you are like me an independent female, spare a thought for how that independence may diminish the feelings of self worth for the people around you.

Independence is attractive at first but after a while the novelty will wear off.
To read more from creativeblogger visit her home page HERE.
 

Leah Gray www.cartoonsbyleah.com

I love drawing cartoons and illustrating as well as writing articles for my own pleasure and for clients.



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Comments on this article:


» left by FakePontiff from UK (1 year 321 days ago.)
Reader Rating: 1 out of 5
Its an interesting article, CB.
Forgive my over-simplification, but I see this syndrome being down to 3 basic types of relationship-seekers: those that need saving, those that need someone to save, and the protectively independent. The first two types probably cover the majority of people, and you can see how one matches the other well, as their needs slot together nicely.
But the independent ones need to retain that independence, and either of the first two types would eat into this. So perhaps the independent ones need someone similar to themselves, but then what is the glue that holds them together? Well, maybe if the partner is also self-contained in the same way, demonstrating a need for 'cuddles, protection and support' wouldn't feel like you were compromising your own philosophy.
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» left by FakePontiff from UK (1 year 321 days ago.)
Reader Rating: 5 out of 5
oops, didn't mean to rate it that low [noob kicks himself squarely on backside for bad reading of instructions]
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» left by Leah (12,540)
Leah
(1 year 321 days ago.)

Thanks,

very valuable insights.

I am not sure two independant types not demonstrating any 'neediness' could work. Not wishing to need and not wanting to be needed are two very different things. I shall ponder on that a while though!
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» left by James Carrick (60) (1 year 321 days ago.)
Reader Rating: 5 out of 5
Leah, good article. I have been married for twenty plus years to a very independent woman and I have to say it is what keeps us together. I was raised to be very independent and I couldn't stand a "needy" woman. I would have to say my wife feels the same about a "needy" man. We are two, independent individuals who seem to like that quality in each other. I guess to each there own, huh? Great article!
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» left by Leah (12,540)
Leah
(1 year 321 days ago.)

Thanks James,

then fakepontiff's comments above are applicable then! Very interesting.


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» left by robert melaccio sr. (1 year 319 days ago.)
Reader Rating: 5 out of 5
Creative I admit I need my wife. She is everything one could hope in a partner. I will put it this way. We have come to realize we need each other in any multiple number of ways. Good job and Best wishes as always RTM
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» left by Leah (12,540)
Leah
(1 year 319 days ago.)

thanks Robert, :)
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Article added to SearchWarp.com on 2/25/2008 8:10:39 AM.
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