Men Like Women Who Need Them ….but What If We Don’t?

Men do like women who need them but women like men who need them too so why the emphasis on men?

It is more widely understood that men need women, it is an accepted norm. They need us for nocturnal pursuits as well as replacing the duties of their mothers. Women generally accept this as their role even in this modern world of equality.

But women on the other hand are increasingly less obviously in need of men.

Is this a new phenomenon borne of absent fathers and the rise in feminism I wonder? Undoubtedly a bit of both.

I know that my fierce sense of independence arose due to an absent father, and the fact that all the caretakers, doers and shakers in my family were females. I watched my mother repair the dent in her car; I watched her paper walls, lay carpet. She also pushed me towards independence by making me do things myself from a very early age. I was never pampered or cared for in the way that I know my friends were.

I never resented this, I was capable of doing the things I did and my mother as a single parent needed all the help she could get. My brother and I were trimming hedges and mowing lawns as soon as we were strong enough and tall enough to manage the shears and mower!

How did I know that what I always regarded as a good trait – being self-sufficient could turn into a negative for the men in my life. That while still desiring me they would feel inadequate unfulfilled and not needed.

As a child of a single female parent, I didn't have the benefit of seeing how this male female ‘need' dynamic worked. I didn't know that the men while admiring my efforts would have preferred me to be just a little bit blonde, just a little bit helpless.

So how do I and women like me turn this around so that the men in our lives are not left feeling inadequate? How do we convey to them that we do ‘need' them, despite the things we can achieve on our own?

I know I need a man with better DIY skills than me, I know I need cuddles, protection and support. I don't demonstrate this need though. I always regarded any sign of ‘need' as a weakness. I shall reluctantly, but for the sake of the men in my life, turn this around.

We all need to feel needed, whether it is by our children, our employer, our customers or our partners. It's about having a sense of purpose, a sense of self worth and feeling that you are contributing to the quality of someone else's life.

So if you are like me an independent female, spare a thought for how that independence may diminish the feelings of self worth for the people around you.