I can't tell you exactly when this happened to the world. I know it happened during my lifetime but to give you an exact date is impossible. Perhaps it happened gradually over many years and that's why it wasn't there then and is here now. You don't notice gradual things and I guess this is how this malady came about. What I'm talking about is somewhere along the line, probably in the last thirty years, the world has gotten into a hurry.
I will bet all of you have had this happen to you. A car following dangerously close to your rear bumper on the highway suddenly swerves into the left lane. This nut makes it back just in time to be dangerously close to your front bumper before a semi going the other way speeds by. In the bigger cities, this is as common an occurrence as flies on a dog heap in August. I have often wondered what value has been placed on being right in front of me rather than right behind me that would cause a person to risk being adorned on a truck's grill along with all the dead insects. It must be important to these drivers. Of course, reckless driving fulfills the need to show everyone that they are in a hurry to get somewhere.
Every day we see people running to work to catch a bus or a train or to get two people ahead of a slower person in a thousand person line. They could have left the house two minutes sooner and have already been to wherever they are rushing to. Being relaxed and taking one's time obviously isn't as much fun as being in a hurry.
We have a year to prepare out taxes but we always wait until the last minute don't we. That way we can tell everyone we need to hurry and get our taxes turned in on time. Every year the news casts show long lines of cars with people in a hurry to get their tax returns into the mail before the deadline. Actually if they were really in a hurry they would have done them three months earlier but being a hurrier doesn't always make sense.
Hurriers have helped develop an entire industry called "fast food". The problem is we have all gotten in such a hurry to get our food quickly and gulp it down that the "fast food" industry really isn't fast anymore. Instead these establishments have become places that have long lines of antsy people waiting to prove to everyone they are in a hurry to get their food. In a fair turnabout, the fast food businesses have created their own hurrier cottage industry called the drive-through. These car lanes are important as they prove to all the hurriers inside that these mobile hurriers are even in a bigger hurry and can't even spare the time to park and get out of a vehicle. The drive-throughs help people prove they are in an even bigger hurry than anyone else, except the hundred other people in their cars in the same line that is.
Cellular phones and phone technology are extremely important tools of the hurriers. We need to have a cell on us at all times to prove to the world we can't wait till we get home or to work to find out someone wants to talk to us. Cell phones also help us validate to other hurriers that we can't waste a single second by hurrying to call someone the instant the notion pops into our heads.
Call waiting is a great invention for hurriers. It helps us to know a second person is trying to talk to us. This helps us to have to hurry the first call as well as help the second party also in a hurry to talk to us sooner. Caller ID carries an immense benefit to the hurriers. It allows us to know a split second before we pick up the phone who it is that's in a hurry to talk to us.
I could go on and on but I'm in a hurry to finish this column. I have to go pick up my dry cleaning because the cleaners is going out of business. I hope the suit still fits. I dropped it off eight months ago.
Freelance writer, columnist, author and writing coach, ex-Chicagoan Mike Fak presently resides in Central Illinois. More information about Mike's services are available at his home website www.mikefak.com
Mike currently writes primarily humor columns for searchwarp bi-weekly and is the managing editor of www.lincolndailynews.com
Mike now offers a 26,000 word e-book on making money as a freelance writer for only $10.00 at this page. http://www.mikefak.com/id45.html
» left by Dianne Lehmann(5,213) Dianne Lehmann (1 year 251 days ago.)
EXACTLY! Great article. Glad to know others feel as I do. But you put it so much better than I would have. One thing, what I've never understood about Call Waiting (we don't have it) is what do you do with the third person trying to call you? Oh no! Respond to this comment
» left by Mike Fak(5,750) Mike Fak (1 year 251 days ago.)
Thanks Dianne. You do just fine expressing yourself. believe it or not I don't even have a cell phone. It is my one grasp at a simpler time. Mike Respond to this comment
» left by sue thom from nj (1 year 251 days ago.)
hi mike,
funny article, with sad truths.
well written, and catchy.
and i think everyone who reads it
will totally relate.
thanks for sharing,
best regards,
sue Respond to this comment
» left by Dave Tanguay (1 year 250 days ago.)
WE have an old saying at the VA hospital "hurry up and wait" I'm sure you heard it Respond to this comment
» left by Mike Fak(5,750) Mike Fak (1 year 248 days ago.)
Ah, that phrase goes back to a simpler day and time when all we had to do was get up every morning and stand in a chow line, or a medical line or the line that was waiting to get into the line that was going somewhere. Thanks for reminding me my friend. Mike Respond to this comment
» left by Jeff Brown(9,626) Jeff Brown (1 year 247 days ago.)
Hurry. Worry. Procrastinate. Late because I hate . . . low pay, no pay, excess taxes, no guts, job, wife, life . . . Hate you. Hate me. Got some rage and you're the random bastard I'm gonna take it out on . . . you . . . you in the car in front of me . . . Arrrrrrrrrrrggggggghhhhhh Respond to this comment
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