Want to make your home more of a place of refuge and delight? Follow this brief biblical advise: Bless and do not curse (Rm 12:14b). Neither of these is merely an attitude or a thought; both are actions we do that impact others, for better or for worse.
None of us really want to be cursed, and most of us consciously crave the blessing of others. This is so critical to life that, in the absence of either cursing or blessing, many will choose to solicit a curse; it is more bearable than being ignored.
The New Testament word most often translated "bless" is the Greek word eulogeo. Its common literal meaning is "to speak well of" or "to give verbal praise." You might notice its similarity to the English words "eulogy" and "eulogize," derived from this Greek word.
We are most familiar with the word "eulogy" as a part of a funeral service where someone says nice things about the departed. It is unfortunate that the word "eulogy" is mentally associated exclusively with funerals for most of us. If I am to benefit from it, I need to be eulogized while I am alive.
We all hunger to hear words of praise and affirmation. We all yearn to experience acts that encourage, affirm and build us up. A Christian home ought to be that kind of place. It is not automatically that kind of place. It is not enough that we wish for or even pray for our homes to be blessed. We must practice the disciplines of blessing and not cursing. And we must intentionally teach these disciplines to our children.
Consider these suggestions:
Express appreciation for things done right or well . It's easy to get caught in the trap of complaining about things that are not acceptable or spectacular. Equally handy is the trap of silence when the acceptable is done. Remember, silence does not bless. Furthermore, in most cases "acceptable" need not be perfection. If all you ever affirm is perfection, you will effectively and unwittingly curse.
Affirm attitudes and character traits, not actions alone . We need affirmation not tied to something we have done. When only affirmed for our accomplishments, we have built in us a performance driven lifestyle, and have difficulty experiencing self-worth detached from things we do. Affirmation in some places where we have failed is valuable, too. To have risked an attempt to do some things is sometimes quite praiseworthy. The child who tried out for the team or the part in the play, even though he/she didn't get it, warrants affirmation for the attempt.
Bless with actions . Little gifts and acts of service that display thoughtful interest in someone have the power to bless them. Much time or money is not required, just a little investment of yourself.
Affectionate, affirming, non-offensive touch also blesses. Adolescents often act as if they don't want to be touched; they do. Just don't embarrass them in public in an attempt to bless them. Find the acceptable times and means to say with touch, "I love you", "I like you", "You're special to me."
Finally, remember this: Do not curse. Scripture encourages us not only to bless, but admonishes us against cursing. This is important because a little cursing can wipe out a lot of blessing. Be diligent to cut out the cut-downs, cease dispiriting comparisons, stop reminders of past failures, and refrain from prophesying your expectations of future failure.
In your home perhaps you have a plaque that says, "God bless this home." Whether you have such a plaque or not, r emember this: He wants to bless it through you!
Dane Tyner is founder and director of Home Improvement Ministry, a Christian family counseling service in Tulsa, OK.The ministry website is http://www.forhim.org.
» left by Lorrie Davids(5,367) Lorrie Davids (280 days 6 hours ago.)
Good stuff, Dane. I have a sign in my kitchen that reads "because nice matters". Nice is a good start, but it needs to go a lot further than that. Respond to this comment
» left by Dane Tyner(417) Dane Tyner (277 days 7 hours ago.)
Thanks for reading my article and giving my the positive feedback. I'm new to this writers' community and am still learning the ropes. Respond to this comment
» left by Teresa Ortiz(4,920) Teresa Ortiz (279 days 22 hours ago.)
Excellent article. Good job bringing this Scripture to life with practical advice. It is so true, a small curse can wipe out a lot of blessing. Keep writing and sharing. God will lead those who need these words to your articles. Blessings to you. Teresa Respond to this comment
» left by Dane Tyner(417) Dane Tyner (277 days 7 hours ago.)
I am new to this writers' community and am trying to figure out how to do everything. I have enjoyed some nice feedback like yours. Thanks, and I am honored that you have become a fan. dt Respond to this comment
» left by April Lorier(0) April Lorier (279 days 22 hours ago.)
Good article, Dane. It was well written, too. I have a stone placque that says, "For me and my house, we will serve the Lord." I see it from my kitchen window every morning and it's a reminder. Respond to this comment
» left by Dane Tyner(417) Dane Tyner (277 days 7 hours ago.)
Thanks, April, for the nice feedback. I am honored to have you identify as a fan, too. May your household continue to bring much glory to our Lord as you serve Him. Respond to this comment
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