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I was going to write an article called: How to Make a Woman Fall in Love With You, but it's been done a million times and men don't listen anyway. Since most men do the opposite of what women tell them to do, I thought I'd put a list of turn offs together in hopes you guy's can finally figure out what turns us back on.
Women just LOVE it when men put sex first in a relationship. Actually guys…
- For every "normal" webpage, there are five porn pages. Women, in general, do not surf the net for porn, but SOMEBODY obviously does. Pornography, and the men that watch it, are a turn off to most desirable women.
- Some idiotic research scientist reported that male and female rats have sex twenty times a day… women are not rats.
- Sex is biochemically no different from eating large quantities of chocolate… there are other ways to stimulate women guys.
- 85% of men who die of a heart attack during intercourse are found to have been cheating on their wives. Somebody up there hates cheaters as much as women do!
- The average person spends two weeks of their life kissing. The average person lives 3,952 weeks…why aren't we spending more of that time kissing?
The first five topics of this article are all sex related because I'm addressing a male audience who, on the average, thinks about sex every seven seconds! Now, can I have your undivided attention so I can inform you as to what else you might like to do to get rid of a woman?
Use profanity
Don't clean up after yourself
Kick dogs, children and old people
Drink everyday
Fart
Talk about past sexual conquest
It's been seven seconds so I had to throw in another sexual reference to keep your attention.
Things to consider:
"I am" is the shortest complete sentence in the English language. Can we maybe talk about me for a minute?
Women know what GOLF stands for "Gentlemen Only, Ladies Forbidden", so can you not insult our intelligence with your silly little chauvinistic acronyms? Can you at least "pretend" to want to spend time with us outside the bedroom?
Another idiotic researcher reported that 25% of women think money makes a man sexier. I'm not sure which species he was studying because MY research indicates it's closer to 99.9% for us HUMAN females and I have the divorce statistics to prove it! Get a job, guys.
Okay, so you've been married awhile and haven't based the entire relationship around sex. Congratulations, you are evolving as we speak. Here is the next piece of advice to help you take that next step in your evolution: Always remember that when it comes to buying your lady an Anniversary present or Valentine's Day present, said present should not have a plug or a pulse…leave the toaster ovens and puppies to birthdays and Christmas!
So there you have it guys. A little food for thought. Probably not helpful at all but talking to a guy is like talking to a wall most of the time and you probably, for the most part, weren't paying attention anyway. For those of you that were, check out my website for more great relationship advice.
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