I can't pinpoint exactly what caused it to happen but 8 years ago I became a recluse. Was it the fall out of a 10 year relationship? Was it a change in metabolism or simply a decision that I preferred my own company over that of others? Which ever it was, here I am for the most part with me, myself, my dog and I. The reason I am writing this article is to holler out to others who may be loners. This isn't going to be an effort to get you to change but rather a boost to enhance your time alone. I refuse to be another person who is going to tell you that you need to reach out and call someone or get out and see people. Heck I can't preach that when I am not doing it myself. What then do I have to offer? I have to scrape the cranium for that one. I will launch off here and see where it goes. To put it bluntly I have some ideas on how to enhance your time with yourself. Gee, after writing that last sentence I realize that this advice could perhaps be for anyone.
Okay so let's see you are by yourself and its Friday night and you don't want to see anyone. You don't want to go out. Should you feel bad about it? I say NO way! Take that time to pamper yourself. Take that time to be your own best friend because I learned that the only way to be alone for an extended period of time successfully is to be your own friend. I know, I know it sounds so trite and perhaps it is. But the moment you start to berate yourself the game is up and you must seek others to rescue you from yourself. So rule number one is to talk kindly to yourself. Ask yourself how you feel, what you want to do and what would be the best way to fill your time. Perhaps you could look into a hobby that you have always wanted to try. I did that and started to paint avidly. Even sold most of the paintings eventually (though I miss them and didn't get as much money as I would have liked.) But whatever it is listen to that voice inside of you. Not the one that wants to tell you that you are no good but the one who is like a child, curious and open minded. Open your mind to yourself. See what resides inside your skull. Open up your creativity.
Put on your most comfortable (fuzzy, loose, warm) clothes. Treat your time alone like the precious thing that it is. Its like living on barrowed time. I like to light candles and journal, read, paint, reflect on life or my day. I like to pet my dog and talk to my other pets. Nature can be great solace in times of extended isolation. Ever since I was a kid I thought that if I talked to trees they listened. In fact I figured they listened better than anyone. NO I am not crazy but I am very good at spending time alone. What are you going to do with your time? I'd love to hear from you. If you're lonely and sad by all means call someone. Tell them you're lonely. You'd be amazed at how many people feel much the same way. Even people who seem to be surrounded by others and in constant company have confessed to me that they are profoundly lonely. Maybe one way to conquer that is to be alone deliberately and make the most of it. I don't mean that anyone reading this should be alone for 8 years or more! But the next time you feel all alone try spending time with yourself. Try being your own very best friend. It may be just what you need! Take care friends.
