Like knowing who "the woman at the well" is, another sign of basic biblical literacy is knowing "The Proverbs 31 Woman". She is that Superwoman of Solomon's last proverb who inspires some women, intimidates many others, and irritates still others. She is not a real woman; she is the ideal woman. A real woman can get tired just reading about her. No wonder so many women internally cringe at her mention.
Who is this Superwoman? She is the "wife of noble character" who is "worth far more than rubies." She is wise and virtuous, and vigorously industrious. She is a servant par excellence. She blesses not only her family but her community as well. We all know her; but let us look briefly at the man in the text, the Proverbs 31 Man her husband.
The text tells us that "Her children arise and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praises her: Many women do noble things, but you surpass them all.'" (v28) The text does not tell us what all her husband does. We only know that he sits as a respected party among the leaders at the city gate. The proverb ends with this statement: ". . . let her works bring her praise at the city gate."
And who is at that city gate to praise her? Her husband!
I suspect that most Proverbs 31 women are joined to a Proverbs 31 man, a man who blesses her and praises her. He speaks well to her and about her. I believe a logical link exists between these two people. He is successful, at least in part, because of her manifold excellence; and her excellence is fueled by his affirmations.
Gentlemen, if you want to be successful, if you want a Proverbs 31 woman be a Proverbs 31 man! Encourage and praise your wife. Bless her with your words and actions; don't curse her with either. Speak well of her when you are around your buddies, work associates, and others.
With your words you have the power to re-fuel her or further deplete the dwindling resources of her life. Beware of "breaking her already bruised reed" and "extinguishing her smoldering wick." Jesus would! (MT 12:20)
Beware of silence, too. Don't assume! Silence is a curse when affirming words should be spoken.
The natural dynamics of relationships give you abundant opportunities to choose which you will do: speak up or be silent, bless or curse, praise or complain, build up or tear down, energize or drain her remaining energy.
Choose well.
Finally, if your Proverbs 31 woman is a few chapters behind, address it openly and honestly and kindly with her. If that doesn't work, talk to your pastor or a godly counselor. Whatever you do, don't bellyache at the city gate. And remember: the most important issue is to make sure you are not a few chapters behind.
Be a Proverbs 31 man, Man!
Dane Tyner is founder and director of Home Improvement Ministry, a Christian family counseling service in Tulsa, OK.The ministry website is http://www.forhim.org.
» left by Avis Ward(13,214) Avis Ward (278 days ago.)
Dane, I can only say one thing, this is an excellent article! Ok, maybe more than one as it's deserved. Not many think or speak of the "Proverbs 31" Man when it comes to this text. If I'm to have a mate again, he must be my counterpart as a Proverbs 31 woman. A work in progress, or a few chapters behind, perhaps, but on the path. Thank you for one dynamic message! Respond to this comment
» left by Dane Tyner(417) Dane Tyner (277 days 6 hours ago.)
Thanks for the feedback, Avis. I'm glad to here that you are waiting for the right man, the man God would yoke you with for His purposes. I welcome you among my fans. I am honored. dt Respond to this comment
» left by Teresa Ortiz(4,920) Teresa Ortiz (278 days ago.)
Hi Dane, thank you for sharing the Proverbs 31 man. I have one and I can tell you as a wife, it blesses me and gives me the courage and strength to be that Proverbs 31 wife with pleasure and complete fulfillment. I hope this article encourages many men. Respond to this comment
» left by Dane Tyner(417) Dane Tyner (277 days 6 hours ago.)
Thanks again, Teresa. I'm glad you have one, and hope this piece encourages many men, too. dt Respond to this comment
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