Young women are clueless about what qualities they should be looking for in a man. Their selection criteria standards are no higher than what kind of car he drives, how "cute" he is, the muscle bulk he boasts, his popularity or profession, how fashionably he dresses, his bedroom skills, or how much money he spends.
Not the smartest way to select a man. The list above is comprised of superficial traits that have absolutely nothing to do with how a man will treat you, how much he respects and honors you, nor how devoted or loving he is towards you.
In response to this confusion, I took a few minutes to write this article and provide you ladies with tips to avoid the #1 knucklehead out there and his fantasy based mind games.
The Magical Instant Commitment, Dream Weaving Perpetrator
You may meet this man online or at a party or club. He is funny, engaging and charming. You laugh a lot. You are relaxed and feel very comfortable with him almost immediately. You two engage in a heartfelt discussion about your past relationships and goals for the future. You find yourself spilling out your pain and share that you are seeking a true love, a forever love, someone you can trust and be with for decades. Wow! He tells you that he is looking for the exact same thing.
Word for word.
Sex with him takes you to the moon and back. You feel so understood. Though it's only been a month, you feel that you are in love with him already and KNOW he loves you. You feel like you've met your soul mate and can't believe your good luck. You talk to your friends about the real possibilities you see here for a future, since he wants everything you want out of life.
You make plans for growth in your professional life, personal life, and since you are falling in love with this charming man, you include him in your plans.
You talk to him frequently about your dreams and plans, and are more in love with him than ever. You lay in bed with your head on his chest while he daydreams out loud about the children he wants to have "some day." He's taken you on romantic drives in nearby residential communities to look at new developments he's interested in moving into. You imagine the two of you living the suburban dream. It makes sense that he should be looking at new homes because, after all, when you marry you will need a fabulous home for the family.
Months pass. Then you notice something. Something odd. After all these months, none of the dreams you two spoke of have actually ever HAPPENED.
After awhile you begin to realize that you've never seen any proof of him actually working on reaching the goals he discussed with you. He isn't in school getting that MBA. He hasn't even registered. His dreamy words are all you have, but you hang onto them and your fantasies like a life raft, defending his lack of action to your disgusted friends by weakly saying "but he said"
Then the love of your life begins to stand you up for dates after promising a good time. You've noticed that he isn't quite as affectionate and attentive. It also takes a lot longer for him to call you back than it did in the early days of your relationship. Days as a matter of fact.
He promises to come over at 7:00 and bring pizza and movies for a Blockbuster night. Instead he shows up at empty handed at midnight rushing you to the bed. Before he talked about taking you to his weekly card game to meet his friends, and to the annual family reunion so he could introduce you to his sister and Mom, but now he claims to be so busy that he doesn't have time to go himself.
At some point you decide to be assertive and question him. When you bring up the issue and try to nail down a specific timeline for action, he throws a fit, starts an argument, and tells you he's not ready yet for anything serious. He has someplace urgent to go and the matter will have to be discussed later. Then he's out the door.
Sadly, it begins to register that he talked about doing a lot of wonderful things in his life, but he never actually said that he wanted to do those dreamy wonderful things with YOU.
Accept the reality ladies, you got played by the Magic Man. He comes into your life, creates a whirlwind of exciting dreams, fantastic sex and hopeful yearnings for more. He spins magical mystical dreams of commitment and love in your head and heart, then poof! He's gone in a puff of smoke.
Was he ever really there at all?
It pays to choose your men and relationships wisely, always with an eye towards what you NEED vs. what is exciting, fun, or relieves your momentary boredom.
Never stop being the sensitive, fun-loving, devoted, warm and wonderful woman that you are! Provide those privileges and benefits only to the RIGHT man, the man that not only talks the talk, but walks the walk.
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information presented herein intended to substitute for the advice provided to you by any health care or other professional
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