When I was a younger woman, not so long ago, I used to train dogs for a living. I can honestly say that had I applied similar techniques with the men in my life, perhaps I'd still be married.
Stupid of me really to think there's that much of a difference. Like a dog, men just want your affection and attention, not your criticism or occasional whack with a newspaper.
I know that when a dog makes a mess on the floor when you're not around, rubbing his nose in it is to late at this point, he'll never make the connection. Men are the same way. I used to get mad out of the blue over something my ex had done weeks before and get all over him about it…poor guy didn't know what had hit him.
I was also a HUGE fan of playing fetch with the ex, only I didn't participate to the same degree that I do when I toss a tennis ball around the backyard with my dog. In fact, my only participation was in telling him what I needed, where he could go to get it, and when I thought he should be back in order not to keep me waiting.
Men don't mind doing things for you as long as there is a measure of appreciation or "treat" that goes along with it. I think I definitely would have given the ex more treats if I could do things over again, he really seemed to enjoy that aspect of our relationship.
Potty training was a big deal around our house too, both for the dog and my ex. I'll never understand how the guy could shoot a squirrel from a hundred yards away, yet that big ol' toilet bowl was too difficult a target to manage. I realize now, however, that you do not train an older dog who was never properly potty trained like you would a puppy. Habits in men are hard to break and if his mother put up with it, it's going to take more than a lot of yelling to get him to change his ways.
Older dogs respond well to praise when they do something the way you want it done. Men are very similar in their need for positive reinforcement, encouragement and appreciation when they have performed properly as well. And remember, it's debatable as to whether or not men are as evolved as we women are, and instinctually he may be driven to "scent mark" just like a dog does and be unable to control himself. I have no other explanation to offer you.
Aside from putting your man in a crate at night, you are left with only one option to quickly break him of this annoying and disgusting practice; threaten to tell his mother on him. Guy's hate it when you do that. One thing you can take to the bank is that a man is always going to care what his momma thinks.
Another extremely annoying thing my ex did that drove me out of my skull, and I'm sure you've dealt with this as well, was not staying put when I told him to. I can understand him feeling uncomfortable when we would go to the mall and I'd have to drag his stubborn butt by the collar through isles of bras and other unmentionables, but the minute I agreed he could wait for me outside the store, off he'd run, chasing who knows what and I'd have to spend an hour looking for him.
I probably could have solved that problem with one of those radio controlled shock collars! I could have set up permissible boundaries and the minute he stepped foot outside the safety zone…bzzzzz. Hey they wouldn't sell them if they were inhumane.
Okay, to recap. Men hate to be yelled at for no particular reason and respond much better to carefully selected words of praise.
They love to show affection as long as it's reciprocated and not expected.
Before you send him to the store, thank him for always being there for you and openly display your appreciation…food is okay if you have a headache.
Play the momma card sparingly and always go through with your threat if he does not correct his behavior. Believe me, his mother will never admit that she hadn't taught him properly when he was a child and will be embarrassed beyond belief that he's implied otherwise.
Men like to be scratched on occasion, give it a try and he'll walk through fire for you.
There you have it. Training a man isn't all that difficult when you understand that genetically, he's more like a dog than he is like you. In fact, you can use any reputable dog training program and apply the principles to correct all sorts of improper behavior.
There are more than twenty-five articles on dog training techniques at my website that you can use for free if you'd like. Or if you have a dog you can use the techniques on him as well, they are equally effective for both. Good luck to you!
Got to http://MylaMadson.com/dogtraining, or if you'd like to read some other insightful articles on relationship strategies you can got to http://MylaMadson.com/relationships
