Although you may never know it, people you look up to, love, and respect could easily be sociopaths. They give themselves away by exhibiting strange combinations of controlling behaviors, such as being charismatic, calculating, extremely confident, while warmly embracing those who fall under their influence, and quickly dismissing all who disagree with them. Their ingenuous good natures and smiling faces hide sinister agendas which they disguise in their hearts as friendship and love.
These types of sociopaths can be easily spotted because of their affinity to one-way thought instead of open-minded discussions, and they never learn from their mistakes, which they disregard as inconsequential to their ultimate goal. From a controlling aspect, those under their influence are never left to form their own conclusions, which are said to be inferior to the sociopath's ideas. Instead, a sociopath's victim is expected to tow the line and is reprimanded for daring to challenge the sociopath's opinions.
Sociopaths have only one agenda, to manipulate and exploit in order to attain power and control. Instead of saying, "Do what I suggest and see if it makes a difference in your life," they will contend that your life is a mess because you are not following their edicts. There is a vast difference between the two approaches. One puts you in control, and the other puts the sociopath in control.
Sociopaths have no conscience. They plot and plan how to maintain their status and use any means to attain that. They will make you feel very special, but that is merely a manipulation. They will win you over by their words and logic, and control you with their charisma, enchanting you with their intelligence and vision. They will give you a show, but you will get the bill.
Although sociopaths appear to develop personal relationships, these relationships are only one-way, dead-ends, and only last as long as the sociopath gets some kind of selfish reward. If you look closely at these people, they are quite delusional, professing things that they have not experienced themselves, usually only things that they have read about or heard about second hand, even though they pretend to be very experienced and wise.
Sociopaths also exhibit no anxiety, which is a kind of self-hypnosis; because they really believe, that they are what they profess themselves to be. Therefore, no one can ever convince them that they may be wrong, regardless of the logic.
If you find yourself under the spell of such a person, think twice before continuing the relationship. You could be in danger psychologically or perhaps even physically. Sociopaths must get their way; they are very controlling, and when things don't go their way, they can become quite violent.
There are people in the world that have your well-being at heart, and not their own aggrandizement. This is where you will find legitimate relationships and an opportunity to discover the depths of your own heart.
Stay awake!
E. Raymond Rock of Fort Myers, Florida is cofounder and principal teacher at the Southwest Florida Insight Center, http://www.SouthwestFloridaInsightCenter.com His twenty-nine years of meditation experience has taken him across four continents, including two stopovers in Thailand where he practiced in the remote northeast forests as an ordained Theravada Buddhist monk. His book, A Year to Enlightenment (Career Press/New Page Books) is now available at major bookstores and online retailers. Visit http://www.AYearToEnlightenment.com
anagarika eddie is a meditation teacher at the Dhammabucha Rocksprings Meditation Retreat Sanctuary (www.dhammarocksprings.org), and author of A Year to Enlightenment. His 30 years of meditation experience has taken him across four continents including two stopovers in Thailand where he practiced in the remote northeast forests as an ordained Thervada Buddhist monk.
» left by Dianne Lehmann(5,177) Dianne Lehmann (1 year 241 days ago.)
Hi e. Have you run afoul of a sociopath? I certainly have and that's why I quit that job. It was just as you said. In the beginning it was all charm and niceness. In the end it was mean and debasing. He kept trying to have absolute control over me and I kept refusing to co-operate. You've provided a good description of a sociopath and good advice that everyone should heed. Just think what might happen if we all refused to "play" with them. Respond to this comment
» left by E. Raymond Rock(2,893) E. Raymond Rock (1 year 241 days ago.)
Good for you Dianne. That took courage.
» left by Teresa Ortiz(11,162) Teresa Ortiz (1 year 241 days ago.)
Hi e..how's my friend doing? Great article-wonderful information and good advice. We can only hope and pray that someone who falls prey to one of these types will have the wisdom to recognize and the courage to leave the situation! Thanks again for sharing this important information. Respond to this comment
» left by Anonymous (1 year 240 days ago.)
i can relate to that, very accurate description of someone i once thought was a good friend... Respond to this comment
» left by E. Raymond Rock(2,893) E. Raymond Rock (1 year 240 days ago.)
we can use others for our own interests, or use ourselves for the interests of others. One culture leads to war, the other to peace.
» left by Teresa Ortiz(11,162) Teresa Ortiz (1 year 238 days ago.)
No kidding-I always try to examine myself. Am I a part of the solution or the problem? I hope solution. Your welcome for the rating and the comment. :-) Respond to this comment
» left by E. Raymond Rock(2,893) E. Raymond Rock (1 year 238 days ago.)
That's great Teresa! I'm sure that you are more often than not the soluton!
» left by Gerry Charbonneau(1,427) Gerry Charbonneau (1 year 180 days ago.)
According to your current thesis all charismatic people must by necessity be labelled "sociapathic"...a very negative and elitist label indeed!
These indiviudals must have no qualms of conscience about manipulating others as they blithely go about their own daily affairs of achieving their own hidden goals and objectives while trampling on the gullible of course.
Usually a sociopathic personality is more readily associated by the genral public with mass murderers who care nothing for the rules of law, order and decency. They live their lives by their own rules and care nothing for the rest of the world.
Are you intimating that all socopaths are charismatic?
Can corporations or political caucuses intentionally create this type of sociapathic personality whom they know can also be manipulated with the proper carrot and stick approach ?
The sociopath in their guarded view gets the job done effectively with minimal collateral damage. The political party gets it's candidate (re)nominated. End of story. Life goes on. So much for hurt feelings.
The whiners still moan about the type of person chosen to get the job done.
Of course, I agree with you. There are charismatic people who only have love and compassion in their hearts for others. Christ was reportedly charismatic, as was the Buddha.
I am fed up with so many victims including myself suffering the evil of sociopaths. Some victims may be vunerable enough to end in a fatality. Knowlege and exposure is needed. Learn the disease. Stop the abuse. Z Fallon
Thank you for your comment. Yes, we cannot be doormats, nor can we become tryrants such as those who attempt to control us. We must understand the underlying fear that causes these things.
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