Many of us have been there at some point in our lives, when the object of our desires either doesn't know we exist or they do and just doesn't seem to care. Perhaps they do care but are already in a relationship (forbidden love) or for other reasons cannot or do not love you back.
I can recall being 16yrs old and being madly in love with a blonde haired blue-eyed boy a couple of years older than me. He was one of a group of friends I hung out with and I saw him nearly every day after school. We got along well and he seemed to like me, but as the days passed he began to grow distant.
I noticed fleeting glances between him and my best friend, but thought nothing of it. She was my best friend after all; if she liked him too she'd tell me. I had known her since we were 5yrs old. I had her back, she had mine.
Then one day while out and about the object of my desire used a ten pence coin to purchase a plastic ring from a street vending machine and he gave it to her. She cast a look at me; I felt her searching (dreading) my reaction. My gut wrenched, my heart was in my mouth, I knew then at that moment, that they were dating and had been dating behind my back perhaps for some time.
Were they laughing at me, sharing private jokes at my expense? Did she tell him how everyday at school I'd talk about him endlessly and write his name on my books. Did he know all this about me?
I couldn't speak. I started to walk, slowly then quicker, my friends followed, wondering where I was going. I was acting mighty peculiar. A bus had stopped at a shelter as I approached, instinct kicked in, rage and tears and I leapt onto the bus. The door closed behind me before my friends had even caught up.
They stared at me through the glass doors as I disappeared out of sight.
Later my friend called me, asking why I'd disappeared. I was upset when I asked her how she could do this to me. Take the love of my life away and behind my back too.
I was very upset that night. I forgave her though and him too and we continued to see each other as friends. But I noticed a strange thing. He liked me to go around when he saw her, like I was the entertainment or something. So I stopped going. He ended his relationship with her shortly afterwards. It was strange, I was part of that relationship whether I was aware of it or not.
Looking back it seems quite unreal that I felt so strongly about such a seemingly small matter, a childhood crush. I smile as I reminisce.
Meanwhile John Travolta never returned my love and neither did Adam the Ant. They just stared at me from their paper positions on my bedroom wall, looking forever perfect.
Falling in love is a marvelous thing, but unrequited love is not, how should we deal with these matters of the heart?
Go with the flow and grow and never give up. This is all I can say as this is one of those things, for which we cannot easily change.
But what of young love that is requited, that brings problems of it's own!
Whenever I read of young couples being separated by concerned parents, I feel the heartache of those children and the fears of the parent. The child feels powerless and bound by their age, their freedom is restricted and they cannot benefit from the hindsight of relationships past.
The parents feel fear, perhaps of a youth cut short, unwanted pregnancies, unsuitable matchings, memories of their own mispent youth!
Young love is a beautiful yet unsettling thing.
If you are a parent of teenagers...good luck!
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