Women can't stand empty silences
and will often fill the quiet with tidbits of information about their past,
laying them out like an offering to the Gods.
Why clog a man's brain with information that will do nothing but make
him jealous, cause him to question your past, or make him feel insecure about a
future with you? Really, it would be best if women learned to shut up sometimes!
Being Like A Man Is Not Always A Bad Thing!
Woman complain frequently about
male/female communication. "Men
don't communicate" these ladies say in frustration. Women complain that men give one-word
answers, don't elaborate and tell the entire story in a play by play fashion,
and that it feelings like "pulling teeth" to get information out of them.
Women operate on a different dynamic
and love to share their feelings, experiences and thoughts with others. I think this female style of communication is
a way that bonds us and brings us closer to others. Which means this communication style is fine
with other women when we get together and talk about family and work. But it is absolutely positively the wrong way
to communicate with your romantic partner when it comes to the sexual pleasures
you've enjoyed before he came on the scene!
Are All The Mysterious Women Dead?
"She possesses an air of mystery." Sadly, that trait is
one many women have completely abandoned.
In their quest to "be honest" women feel it necessary need to
tell their man every thought that passes through their head, and every single
thing they've ever done in this life and those previous. In other words, women blab and share wayyyy too much information.
Guys avoid those types of
disclosure like the plague. Their
thinking is if you haven't asked a specific question, it isn't important enough
to bring up, and it's probably not in their best interest to do so.
Men want things in their
relationships to be smooth and easy and pleasant. Smart men know that telling their new woman how
great their ex was in bed is not something she needs to know. They know women aren't happy hearing that type
of news, and there will be some serious unpleasant moments that follow the
delivery! Men are smart enough to know
that a female coworker's breast augmentation and how much hotter she looks now is
not something their woman needs to know either.
Women should adopt a similar policy.
Keep The Past Where It Belongs…In The Past!
Recently a letter came into my
advice column from a 35 year old woman that had been introduced by her Mom to a
nice physician, formerly from her neighborhood.
Though he seemed to be somewhat of a braggart, the two got along well
and things looked like they were going someplace. One day he mentioned that he was going to get
a haircut in the old neighborhood, and she volunteered that she had gone out to
dinner a few times with the owner of that same barbershop. No relationship, nothing sexual, just out to dinner
twice.
After this revelation the young Dr.
went to the barber and inquired about his interaction with the woman in
question. The barber embellished the
interaction and represented the relationship as more than it had been, much to
the young doctor's chagrin. Feeling that
his reputation would be at risk from this association, he immediately broke off
the budding relationship.
Why?
He knows how men are. He knew that the other men in the shop would
be trading jokes and stories about sexual activities with his new girl, and
that he didn't want to endure the subsequent embarrassment.
Why did this young woman not keep
her mouth closed? What benefit did she
think would be gained by bringing up ancient history? Why talk about something that involved just a
couple of dates that took place years ago and led to nothing?
The boyish competitiveness and
desire to bring a man with higher social standing and more money down a peg or
two is what was behind this little drama.
Understanding men's egos, the dynamic under which men compete and the
manner in which men judge women's suitability as a steady girlfriend and/or
wife should be enough impetus to keep your lips closed.
However, if you plan to marry,
full disclosure should be expected by your fiancée and provided on about
matters vital to the marriage. Openness
on subjects such as debts, health concerns, child support and visitation, and income
are mandatory, but that is really all that is needed.
In conclusion, think before you
open your mouth and "share" information with your man that he won't
be able to handle. Blabbing every detail
about your past interactions with other men will do nothing positive for your new
relationship. Every woman past the age
of 21 has a past of some sort. The men
that come into your life need to accept the woman that you are, take you as you
come and love you for exactly who and what you are right now.
Your past, with all your mistakes, challenges, and experiences
together created the fascinating creature that he has fallen in love with. Your past should be something you keep to
yourself and reflect on in old age with a enigmatic smile. It should be remembered and respected, but
never trotted out for critical review and comment by every guy you date.
