When we talk, or when we write articles, the number of times that we use the word "I" can indicate the level of confusion we might have in our minds about ourselves. This wouldn't ordinarily be a problem if we are not attached to ourselves emotionally, and only use the term conventionally; however, when we home in on only our personal problems and ourselves and feel emotional about them, we may set ourselves up for the opposite of happiness, which is stress.
The "I" which we speak about and write about doesn't exist; that's the fundamental problem, and when we promote something that doesn't exist in the first place, we run into the knarly problem of legitimacy. How can we be genuine about anything when the prime mover in our lives; ourselves, doesn't exist? If we believe in ourselves as an authentic entity, we can't help but begin everything we do from a shaky foundation. In other words; what we do will be self-serving and not for the benefit of others.
When we only serve ourselves, we miss the only true happiness, which is giving to others. We can never logically give to ourselves because there are not two people in our heads - one who gives and one who receives - which would be like a split personality! As matter of fact, there isn't even one person. All there is in our heads are thoughts and memories from which a self or the idea of "I" is created. This is the joke on us; the hilarity that constructs an ego!
So count the"I"s in your articles and in your conversations. If you cannot intelligibly converse or write without a bunch of "I"s dotting the landscape, then you may be in trouble! For example, this article contains no "I"s, with the exception of the "I"s used as examples. This means that the article includes others and is inclusive by using the words "we,' or "us," rather than exclusive by using the word "I." An inclusive article also means that the article probably tries to help us understand something, rather than complain, carp, whine, grumble, nit-pick, find fault, criticize, defend ourselves, promote ourselves, or nag! Or confess!
When we control our use of the "I" word, or the "me" or the "mine" words, we naturally consider others more seriously. We can't help but do that because without the "I" word, we have nothing really to talk about, except others. When we talk about others, however, we must also be careful in using the "he" or "she" word, for example; "She is a hateful person!" If you use either "we" or "us" instead of "he" or "she," then it becomes, "We are hateful people!" Then there is a tendency not to point fingers so sharply at "them," which can be another dicey word! Hey. I better go back and check my old articles!
OH NO! I just used the "I" word. Oh no, I just did it again. And again! Boy, it's like eating peanuts!
E. Raymond Rock of Fort Myers, Florida is cofounder and principal teacher at the Southwest Florida Insight Center, http://www.SouthwestFloridaInsightCenter.com His twenty-nine years of meditation experience has taken him across four continents, including two stopovers in Thailand where he practiced in the remote northeast forests as an ordained Theravada Buddhist monk. His book, A Year to Enlightenment (Career Press/New Page Books) is now available at major bookstores and online retailers. Visit http://www.AYearToEnlightenment.com
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Teresa Ortiz(2,334) Teresa Ortiz (46 days 19 hours ago.)
Hi e. In some ways ___ agree with you. But on the otherhand. Some of us use____ because we are sharing from personal experience. As a teacher in the Christian world, most people like when you say ____ because they know you are including yourself in the equation. Personal experience is real. Therfore, I fits well. :-) I do appreciate your articles and I think you write well and I love your passion. I wish you a very good evening. :-) Your friend, Teresa Respond to this comment
E. Raymond Rock(3,225) E. Raymond Rock (46 days 19 hours ago.)
Oh, oh. Four "I"s in your comment! Not counting the ____s (lol)
Thanks Teresa, the feeling is mutual. You do a very good job and you are passionate as well.
Dave Tanguay (46 days 1 hour ago.)
e, I have an article titled "We vs. I" I'll send you the link to it. Let me know what you think. Respond to this comment
Dianne Lehmann(1,857) Dianne Lehmann (42 days 4 hours ago.)
Hi e. The phrase, "We are hateful people," instead of "She is a hateful person," is a very good example of how to change the thought process. That one small change could make a big difference in the world. And yes, "them," "they," and "those people," are all very divisive words. We are all on this boat (earth) together and would do well to remember that. Thanks for this very insightful article. Respond to this comment
E. Raymond Rock(3,225) E. Raymond Rock (41 days 23 hours ago.)
Not one "I" in your comment! Cool.
Will A Lot from NM (41 days 20 hours ago.)
I've got a headache just reading all this brain stuff, I think. I don't know what you said but I think I'll go next door to my grandma's and help mow the lawn. Then I'm gonna help my dad with the landscaping. And then I think I'll go see if my sister needs help, I think. I'm not sure what I'll do next but I'm sure I'll come up with something to help out my family and friends, I think. Respond to this comment
Anonymous (41 days 19 hours ago.)
h E,
very well written, interesting and truthful article.
now, to go look for some peanuts!
best regards,
sue Respond to this comment
E. Raymond Rock(3,225) E. Raymond Rock (41 days 19 hours ago.)
Thanks Sue; Your comments are always cool!
Laura Trahan(29,574) Laura Trahan (40 days 22 hours ago.)
E. Great points! Not sure how to comment without saying that word, though :) I agree that others do become more in the forefront when we quit thinking about ourselves! Thanks for the creative article! Respond to this comment
E. Raymond Rock(3,225) E. Raymond Rock (40 days 22 hours ago.)
Thank you so much Laura for your support. It is very appreciated (I appreciate it!).
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