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The other day, after opening my real estate tax bill, my six year old son asked me why I was crying.
Boy was he in the wrong place at the wrong time! After a fifteen minute dissertation on unfair taxation, the American Revolution and the struggles of the working class, my son responded with one of those comments that always catches me off-guard, makes me laugh, and for the moment makes me feel just a little bit better.
I was rambling on about how unfair it was how our corrupt government was able to get away with charging me so much money in taxes for such a small piece of land, when my son interrupted and offered the following possibility:
"I learned in school that the Earth's crust is about 19 miles thick," he began "If you count the fluid mantel beneath that, it's another 1800 miles or so to the core. The core is about 8 miles thick which four of those miles could be considered ours because we reached half way and the other side belongs to someone in China," he continued on, much to my amusement, "I don't know how exactly to do the math on an acre of land that's 1821 miles thick to see just how much we actually own but I think what the government's charging seems fair"
Yes, this seems to be the way the government has figured my taxes. Although I can't reasonably use anything lying more than a few inches beneath my feet, the bureaucrats seem to think it's reasonable I should pay the taxes on it.
After a few glasses of wine to calm the nerves, I started thinking about some of the comments and questions my children have come up with over the years…questions I still haven't looked up the answers to. My general response to such questions is; why don't you go and ask your teacher, isn't that why I'm paying all these ridiculous taxes?
Here's a list of some of the more memorable ones…
Why doesn't broccoli come in a can like peas, beans and corn?
Why do mattresses have designs on them when they are always covered with sheets?
If the police break down our door (for whatever reason) do they have to pay for it?
What's the opposite of opposite?
Mommy, why can't you put mascara on with your mouth closed?
Do the actors on "Americas Most Wanted" or "Unsolved Mysteries" ever get arrested because they look like the criminals they are playing?
Why are they called stairs inside but steps outside?
When a car is for sale and it has a balloon on it, does the balloon come with it?
And my all time favorite question and most embarrassing moment is:
Mommy, I know you told me to stop asking you so many questions, especially here in the nail salon where you go to escape such assaults (my words, not hers) but I absolutely have to know something…It's terribly important!
Okay sweetheart, but it better be life or death.
Does that lady with just one arm over there have to pay full price to get her nails done?!?!?!
Myla Madson is a family counselor and author of several expertly written books on a number of subjects…none of them published of course. For more from the mind of Myla, please go to: http://www.MylaMadson.com
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