"God, do we really pick who our parents are going to be? If so, why did I pick mine? Did I need to be strong to make a difference in this world? Is that why I chose an ex marine who liked to argue and belittle and degrade? Did I need to strengthen my skills by dealing with someone I adored, and hated, within minutes of each other? I know he is with you now, and he knows how very much I loved him and looked up to him. He was my hero. It hurt so bad to be on the receiving end of his anger. Many tears were shed upon my pillow. But, you knew that, I know you were there. I felt your hand on my shoulder.
And God, did we really need all that schooling? I think learning to read and write would have been sufficient. I never quite understood Geography, or History, and especially, Math. I also never understood why kids chose to fight with each other, and put each other down. That never sat well with me. Did the nuns really work for you? Some were quite nasty and I always thought they'd have better personalities if they were married and had kids. How could they be with kids all the time, never having had to raise one on their own? I thought the same about the priests. I know, they were all supposed to be married to you. Was that your idea or theirs?
There are so many different paintings of you, I wonder if the Light I believe you really are, resembles anything done on canvas? I wonder if I'm right about the Light. I think about these things, but I have no real answers. I go on blind faith, and what I've read in near death experience books. They seem to do you the most justice. I don't really care for the Book that says you are a vengeful God, I've never believed that to be true. If you were that vengeful, why wouldn't you just wipe us all out, and start anew?
I've only ever felt love and comfort when I've thought about you, and I've felt that comfort in my most trying and empty times. It was all that got me through. Do we all really have free choice, or did you create those that live different lifestyles and say they have no choice? Do you want us to love and accept them, too? Is it up to any of us to interpret who and what you are? Were the words written on your behalf, really coming from you? Are you upset with those who judge in your name? I would be.
Do you cry when you look down and see the wars going on all over your planet? Did you not give each of us the choice to be loving, or cruel? How do you listen to billions of requests? And then answer them, one at a time? I know, some of us don't see the answers, or listen to them placed in our hearts. I'm sorry about that.
You created some beautiful people, some brown, some black, some white, some olive. It must hurt you so to see your children discriminated against solely on the colors you chose. They walk through the doors of the buildings they construct for praising you, you know? I never understood that either.
Your precious animals are dying out, your sea life is decreasing. Where are those you sent to save us from these atrocities? Yes, I have children. Oh, I see, they will figure out what to do, on our behalf. That's a relief. Do the angels really hear me speak with them? Can my parents and grandparents hear my pleas? Can they do things to help that I either am aware of, or not? I hope so, or I've been talking to myself for a long time.
Is it true that we go through our own review when we pass on, and learn everything we didn't know on Earth? Is this the way our faults are understood and rectified? Hmmn, I didn't think it was by your fire and brimstone. I've always believed acceptance and love was your objective, and I still do. I guess I'll find out when the time is right. Why is there so much anger and hostility, in a world where there is plenty for everyone? Oh, I forgot, free choice. Was that really because Eve ate an apple? I get so confused on what to believe.
Therefore, I will believe as I do, and hope I'm on the right track. I think we should be kind and giving and helpful to our fellow men, women, and children. I think we should work on our own characters and be as calm and peaceful as we can be, even if we need to get help in doing so. I believe in you, God, I love you, and I believe I will someday be in your Light, Your presence. You are the father of us all, and I don't think you're as mean and demanding as many believe.
I think we are responsible for our own actions, and we will learn through our review, all that we question now on Earth. Once we have done so, I believe You will embrace us with your warm and loving Light, and we shall continue above in a spiritual way. If we choose!
Thank you for taking the time to listen to me, Lord, I know you're busy.
Amen.
 
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