It is time for spring cleaning once again, and guess who is coming to dinner. In our environmentally friendly society there is a peddler with just the right products at the right time at a price so low they simply must be tried. He has your number, and he is coming to a TV near you - today.
Just like John Kennedy, Billy Graham, David Brinkley, Henry Kissinger, and many other radio and television personalities, there is an advertising guru with an unforgettable voice. Billy Mays. Billy Mays violates all the rules of capturing and keeping the attention of his audience. He communicates by screaming at you. He is grating in the extreme, yet we continue to listen.
More importantly, to his position at least, we continue to buy. That, however, is not a concern for the venerable pitchman who first came to us on The Shopping Channel. We doubt there is anyone in America who owns a TV that has not seen his infomercials somewhere sometime. He hawks and we purchase everything from OxiClean®, Orange Clean®, Kaboom®, Hercules Hook, Samurai Shark, and Zorbeeze, to onion slicers and dicers to epoxy, adinfinitum it seems.
Billy Mays is one of those people who could sell deep freezers to Eskimos. If he were a man of the cloth, he would surely be one of the renown preachers of our time with a mega church supported by multiple thousands of members ministering to (or fleecing as the case may be) untold thousands more via the internet, radio and television. Can you not picture him selling holy water and anointing oils and cloths?
Like lawyers, politicians, business moguls and preachers whose reputations precede them, Billy Mays is at the pinnacle of his career, and is sought after by everyone with anything to sell. If there is a product, such as snake oil, that is remotely marketable regardless of its value or sturdiness, Billy Mays can sell it.
Though we may not care to admit it, untold thousands of us have purchased "stuff" we did not need as a result of being swayed by the loud fast talking salesman. Knowing we have purchased defective products in the past as a result of Billy Mays' persuasion, it is almost like we can not help ourselves and we do it over and over and over again. Why? Maybe to shut him up. Most often, however, because he sells us not what we need but what we want to believe after he quickly creates a demand for the product dejur.
One can combine a nice trip, vacation, or other family outing with the experience to help ease the pain of that nagging feeling in the pit of your stomach that says, "I really should not do this" as you lay down hard earned cash for one of Billy's products. There are a couple of "As Seen On TV" (your first warning) Stores in the Pigon Forge, Tennessee and Gatlinburg, Tennessee areas. You can play with your new purchase while you feed the wild Tennessee Black Bears which you really should not do either.
Can't get to an "As Seen On TV" Store? Never mind. Billy Mays has created such a demand for these products that Wal-Mart, Walgreen's, and even Bed, Bath and Beyond and many other reputable retailers have started selling them. So, a trip to the corner pharmacy will open for you the world of items which Mays says can't be purchased in any store.
Billy Mays... Maijson posted on the Billy Mays Forum at World Warcraft, "HI I'M BILLY MAYES! AND I'VE MANAGED TO YELL EVEN LOUDER THAN I DID IN MY LAST COMMERCIAL!". Well, for the Tennessee Mountain Man that about said it all. Then Computer Man submitted this find from Alaerun, "Honestly Billy, theres no need to scream like someone has a tiki torch up your butt. We can hear you fine... Please bring it down a notch". But, hey, it works for him. We would not suggest trying this at home as Mays is a professional one of a kind pitchman. His tactics would not work for us and probably not for you either, but Billy keeps raking in the money... big money - your money.
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