According to Wikipedia , "researchers have estimated that between 1.7 percent and 6 percent of married people are involved in open marriages." Wikipedia claims that definitional issues among participants vary greatly in order to have a clear definition.
For the sake of this article, I'll define open marriage as: "The incidence of having affairs outside the marriage with the partners knowledge." This way we have a working knowledge of what we are discussing in this topic.
It seems to me that there are times where a marriage/relationship may become stale and the couple may want to bring in a little excitement and variety. If both partners agree and can handle an open relationship, then all is well. I think the problem with definition lies in that one partner may not be clear as to any guidelines in the relationship; what is allowed or accepted and what is not. Also, one partner may go along with this type relationship to appease the other partner or maybe one partner has a much higher sex drive than the other. There seem to be many possible reasons.
I would tend to think that the percentage of open relationships is a little higher. I believe this because in our, and many other societies, experimentation is still a kind of taboo, especially when it comes to sex. Health and sex has the figure around 4% to 9% in the U.S.
If a couple has the ability to experiment with an open relationship and finds their marriage is a more rewarding one void of some of the roadblocks that can hinder this type of relationship, like jealousy, then in my opinion it's a winner.
Open marriage/relationships may not be for everyone, but they are for some. I believe that if our society maintained an open mind about these and other types of relationships, there would be more healthy and happy relationships and therefore a better society.
The 4-9% figure is a guess by a computer programmer who wants to promote open marriage as socially acceptable. Researchers consistently put the figure lower. Besides, surveys show about 5-10% of people admit to having extramarital sex within a given year. This includes people who cheat. It's not likely that out of 5-10% of people having extramarital sex, 4-9% of them are practicing open marriage and the rest are cheaters. It's more likely the majority are cheaters and only a few have open marriages.
I have been in a sexually open marriage with the same partner for 25 years. We have been sexually open our entire marriage. I know open marriage can work. I am also firmly convinced that open marriage: (1) does not contribute to social progress, and (2) does not work for a the majority of people who try it.
Sexually open marriage involves a lot of extra relationship work. It also adds serious conflict and pain to the relationship on a periodic basis. The majority of people in our society have problems dealing with the amount of relationship work, conflict, and pain that occurs in sexually monogamous relationships. When people can't keep the canoe upright in calm water, you don't recommend they try the rapids.
Thank you for your insight! I'm not big on stats about situations like these because we don't know how much opinion or wishful thinking is given by the subjects, but it's the best we can do I guess.
It would be great to see you author something on the subject here at searchwarp!
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