First we are pushed out from our mother's womb, then we are passed around from person to person like a hot potato. Next we are subjected to going to some strange place with other strange youngsters, while Mommy and Daddy go off to work. It just gets scarier after that. So, after years of having it stripped away from us, how do we hang on to a little security in an increasingly insecure world? Here are some ways that may offer a little inspiration:
1. Learn to enjoy your own company. If your blood pressure rises when you realize you are going to be home alone, you really need to experience more evenings by yourself. Think back to a time when you were at your happiest. What were you doing? Even if you were with a dear friend, that does not mean you cannot recreate the feeling you had. Watercolor, get a kid's coloring book and some crayons and get busy. Sing in your underwear, using the spatula as a microphone. Have fun, when no one is watching, and you will be more secure being yourself when you are with others.
2. Practice saying positive affirmations. First right them down. Here are a few examples:
I am confident in a state of not knowing.
The power of love allows me to trust my instincts above all.
My inspirational contribution is a zen gift to the Universe.
I am aware and open to all the spiritual healing life is bringing me.
Enlightenment is my birthright.
I am always connected to our inner source which provides me with constant divine guidance.
Many times insecurity has its roots in negative messages, which were fed to us when we were growing up. These are false messages. The uncluttered truth is you are a divine being. Practice writing and speaking affirmations that confirm this, and you will be much closer to the freedom that comes with living a fulfilling life.
3. Take a public Speaking Class. Public speaking is known to be one of people's greatest fears. If this is true for you, this is a great exercise to try. Join a club that allows you to get your feet wet speaking in front of an audience. The organization, Toastmasters, provides a wonderful venue where the members have the opportunity to present a speech. The audience offers three positive comments, and then one constructive comment. This a creative way to learn something new in a supportive atmosphere.
Once you have this experience under your belt, your comfort level with soar. You will be more secure conversing with others, whether you are at a work-related black tie event or meeting someone on a first date from your online service.
4. Give Compliments. When you give other compliments, you are complimenting yourself. Look at the people around you, and pick up the best qualities that they have to offer. Maybe they have a warm smile, or they have graceful movements, or perhaps they have exquisite taste in clothing. When you begin to take the focus off of yourself and turn your attention to others, you will notice a dramatic rise in your comfort level. And when you start noticing more and more positive attributes in your fellow travelers, you will begin to notice more in yourself.
Be genuine. People love to be complimented, but they can tell when it is not sincere. There is no need to over do it, just express your thought in a light, off-handed way. They may be taken aback, and they will begin to look at you differently. When pure positive energy is exchanged in this way, amazing things will magically happen.
5. Write down your Goals. These could be work or personal. Start with one, and then move on to the next one. This should have nothing to do about the expectations of others. What are your dreams? Maybe you have spent your whole life in a job that you cannot stand. You have to know that it is never too late to change careers. You owe it to yourself, to dig deep, and be honest. Do a little research about what it would take to get there. Put these things on your to do list. Break down these steps so that they are achievable. Mark each one off as you accomplish them. Change happens incrementally. Persistence turns change into transformation.
The whole idea of security is a bit elusive. Somewhere a long the way, we came to believe that we need security. Security is good, to be without it is bad. Maybe, maybe not. Looked at from another way, we could say there is nothing wrong with feeling insecure. When we put ourselves in challenging situations, we set up a foundation for us to reach another level of fulfillment. Once we move past the feeling of insecurity it gives way to a feeling of contentment. So, do not beat yourself up if you are feeling insecure.
Wake up to this new way of thinking: imagine your feeling of insecurity as a gift. Accept it, open it up, and examine it. Once you understand what you are holding, you can let it go.
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Kim McGinnis is a freelance writer and entrepreneur. Most recently Kim has developed A Zen Gift - a website that offers products to promote a zen lifestyle. A Zen Gift offers unique gifts, yoga products, herbal remedies, & much more. Also, please visit Kim at Zen Fireflies to see her amazing electronic fireflies that dance in the night.
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