If you think you are tired of hearing your same old stories over and over again (actually, excuses) for why you aren't where you want to be in life, imagine how weary your friends feel? I hear this kind of complaint repeatedly: She deliberately manipulates me to work longer hours. He never appreciates the work I do. My boss focuses on my weaknesses and not my strengths. Okay, it's time to let that go and create some new stories about yourself.
We all have a past composed of great, good and not so good experiences. It's up to us each moment of each day to decide exactly which experiences are a part of who we are today.
Client Sean is a great example of updating his story. Sean was a product of his environment in college--smoking, drugs and alcohol. He carried these behaviors into his 20s, never giving it a second thought. One surprising day, Sean learned that he had cancer. His focus instantly turned from victim to survival. Fast forward ten years: he runs marathons, is an extraordinary father and spouse, has converted to healthier eating habits and is an up-and-coming middle manager at work. Sean chose to make his cancer a focal point from which to move forward, not an excuse or story to hold him back.
What is your story? Is something in your past holding you from moving forward strongly and powerfully? It could be something that happened only last week. You have it within you at this moment to simply breathe and let it go. It really is that simple.
Before you update your story, you do need to release the old one. Here are some methods to do just that:
Talk about it to the point of nausea. You've circled around this wagon so much that it has become who you are. So just go there. Tell the story to one or many individuals so that you once and for all get it out and get whatever you want from reliving it over and over again—pity, sympathy, understanding? Could you just get it off your mind one last time and let it go permanently.
Journal. I love this tool the best, because it slows my mind way down and allows a much more-meaningful perspective to unfold. Isolate yourself, get some writing paper, and write it all out until your hand refuses to write one more word. Then write some more. As the words come out, so will the meaning. Sean learned that he needed to face something as dramatic as a life-threatening disease in order to make dramatic changes in his world. If you are worried about someone reading your words later, just burn them. The key is that you get the learning.
Draw, write a song or dance or belt it out. For my artistic readers, you can use this technique to get to the center of your current story really quickly. Once you arrive there, everything begins to fall into place. You know what the moving parts are and precisely what to do with them. Follow your style. For some of you it will be loud and bold, while others will benefit from softness.
The next part is easy. As you release your old excuse stories, a brand new one will evolve. You just might delight yourself with the innovative new story you create that simply did not exist before. How could it? Your mind and heart were so filled with what was holding you back, how could you possible entertain thoughts of what success will move you forward?
Enjoy your process and your new, updated story.
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This article is taken from Master Certified Coach Ann Golden Eglé's free weekly ezine, The Success Thought of the Week. If you would like to keep your career fresh and on track, sign up to enjoy a weekly shot-in-the-arm from Ann's great wisdom at http://www.gvsuccess.com .
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