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Home » Categories » Personal » Personal Happiness » The Joy of Socks » Printer Friendly

Ben Morrish

All True

The Joy of Socks

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Submitted Tuesday, April 15, 2008
Ben Morrish (8,401)
Ben Morrish

http://alltruism.blogspot.com

I've just put on a new pair of socks.


Wow, stop right there...that's enough excitement for one day I hear you say.

Perhaps you're right, but whilst I was putting on the socks I realised something.

When a sock is the "right way" out, the rough sticky-out bits where the stitching is are on the INSIDE. Where you foot goes. Those little seam lines are in there waiting to get under or between your toes and make you suffer....sometimes its ok, they don't manage to get into the critical position.

But sometimes, when they know you can't stop to adjust them, they slip into place and every step hurts...it feels like there's a tiny pebble in your shoe, stabbing your foot with every stride.

This problem can easily be avoided by wearing the socks in the way that convention dictates is "inside out". Then your toes get the smooth, soft parts of the sock against them, and the nasty rough seam lines are on the outside, bothering your shoe instead of your foot. Mmm...comfy!

Presumably, the sock wearing convention is the way it is because we humans tend to like tidiness, and perhaps the sight of a sock with the seams sticking out annoys us on a primal, subconscious level.

But socks are almost always worn underneath shoes, so they can't be seen anyway. Usually, we only expose our socks in the privacy of our own homes, and there aesthetics are invariably left aside as we slob around in old track suit trousers and t-shirts stained with the memories of long-lost take-aways.

There's only one reasonable answer to this mystery.

The sock-wearing convention is a conspiracy designed to weaken the human spirit, to weaken our joy and sense of freedom, leaving us vulnerable to the pending attack by Galactic Overlord Xenu. You heard it here first folks!

Make a stand...make a comfy stand....wear your socks "inside out" today!

Benjamin K Morrish is a UK-based amateur writer, interested in a wide range of topics from science to silliness.
 
He enjoys debating science, pseudoscience and religion, and spends a lot of time over at Richard Dawkins.net.
 
When he isn't there, he can usually be found writing his blog, All True.
 
Despite having passed the big 3-0 and having the cynicism of a man twice his age, he regularly gets asked for identification when trying to purchase alcohol.
 
 






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Comments on this article:


» left by Susan Thom (11,792)
Susan Thom
(1 year 180 days ago.)

Reader Rating: 4 out of 5
hi ben,
what a wonderful idea-a story about something every single person and child can relate to. i remember times of having to stop in the aisle at k mart and take my son's shoe off, fix his sock, and carry on. this was after i had enough whining about it.
thanks for sharing with us,
best regards,
sue thom
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» left by Robert Melaccio, Sr. (5,169)
Robert Melaccio, Sr.
(1 year 178 days ago.)

Reader Rating: 4 out of 5
You got it, nothing like a new pair of socks to make ones day. They are comfortable, stay up, look good when your trousers go up and they are important mentally. You know, like when your socks keep falling down even though they supposedly never will? Yes, I put mine on and feel great. Thanks!!! best wishes and good job.
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» left by Hannah Quinn (18,513)
Hannah Quinn
(1 year 175 days ago.)

Reader Rating: 4.5 out of 5
I think Ben's must be naturally funny. My son, Ben, is funny. My work partner, Ben, is funny, and here's a funny article about socks by ... Ben!
And what is the best part about new socks? You know where both of them are!
I'm all for wearing socks inside out. Just hope it doesn't damage my sub-normal, ahem, er, sub-primal brain.
Cheers, Hannah
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» left by Sandra E. Graham (7,518)
Sandra E. Graham
from Paragould, Arkansas, USA (1 year 174 days ago.)

Reader Rating: 5 out of 5
Really cute. I loved it. My husband discovered this some time ago. I complained to him once about having to turn his socks right-side-out every time I did the laundry! He told me to leave them inside-out, because that's the way he wore them. I thought he was just being pig-headed; but now I get it. Way to go! Ben.
SEG
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Article added to SearchWarp.com on 4/15/2008 3:35:03 PM.
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