Recently I experienced the trauma that infidelity can bring to a marriage. The only way that I can possibly describe it is to say it was absolutely the worst experience that I have ever had to endure. I cannot possibly think of anything not even the death of my spouse that would have been more heart wrenching to endure. I agonized for weeks struggling though each minute. Constantly I searched my mind for things that I did wrong or could have done differently. But it wasn't me who came up short it was my spouse. The blame was not mine to bear but his.
For those who are being unfaithful to their spouses, at the time they can justify their actions with all kinds of reasons but no reason is justification enough to inflict that kind of pain on the people you profess to love. No reason will be sufficient enough if the coming of our Lord finds you in the arms of someone other than your spouse.
Though my trauma I was comforted by many friends and though their comfort they confided in me of their own battles with infidelity. I was totally shocked at the number of Christian's who are being unfaithful. Men and women of God who are faithfully worshipping God in the church body and at the same time committing acts of infidelity.
I know that God is calling for Christian's to be accountable for their actions. He has shown me though all of this it is time for us as Christian's to not only be accountable to our spouse's for our behavior but more importantly to God.
We all are familiar with the story of David and Bathsheba. David a man of God, a man with numerous wives and concubines, who had it all: the respect of a nation, wealth, and favor with God, still he succumbed to temptations of the flesh. Still with all his wisdom of God and knowing right from wrong he could not or would not resist the temptation that lied before him.
Let's take a moment to examine what that action bought to his life. Firstly, he enjoyed the pleasures of coming together with Bathsheba. And for a short time he was able to enjoy the memories of their coming together. She sends word to him that they have conceived a child out of their infidelity. Now the King David decides to bring home her husband, Uriah. It is his plan that Uriah will come home and be intimate with Bathsheba so that Uriah will believe the child is his. Only that plan is terribly thwarted when Uriah refuses to take the pleasures of his wife while his men are yet in battle. David’s next attempt is get Uriah drunk so that he will go and take his pleasures with Bathsheba but even that doesn't work.
Now so far he has sinned in his infidelity, then onto lies to cover up his infidelity and then he gets Uriah drunk. Now what must he do to get this mess over with. He comes up with yet another plan. He will order Uriah to the forefront of the hottest battle and have the soldiers retreat from him so he will be killed. And thus he is killed.
Now David had two well laid plans that didn't work out. So he went even farther into his own trap and even kills a man to cover up his adulterous ways.
Now we have infidelity, lies, and then murder. All these acts are carried out by a man of God.
So now David does a noble thing and marries Bathsheba because she is with child, his child.
So is that the end of the story? No!. Even though God forgives, sometimes there are consequences that we must endure. In David's story the consequences for his sinful actions were severe, it cost him the life of his child.
I don't think there are any Christian's out there who would ever even consider being unfaithful if they knew their infidelity would cost them what it cost David. Is infidelity worth the life of a child? Is infidelity worth even tearing apart the life of a child? Are a few moments of stolen pleasure worth the devastation it will inflict when it made known?
Infidelity always leads to more sin. There are always the lies to cover it all up. One lie leads to another and another it is a never ending chain. And lots of times there are crimes that are committed as well such as with David.
Infidelity is becoming more and more rampant in our churches. We as the body of Christ are supposed to set the example to the world. Do you think it is by our example that this world is becoming so sexually immoral? What example is it when our religious leaders are in the news not because of the work they are doing to build the kingdom of God but of their immoral conduct. And what examples are we being to our children? Would you want your child to be married to someone who is unfaithful to them? Would you want your child to be the one to catch you in your acts of betrayal?
No excuse is justification to commit adultery. Not one. You are not justified in committing adultery even if your spouse did that to you. Even if your spouse is not a sexy as they used to be. Even if your spouse said something to hurt your feeling. Even if you have become bored with your spouse. Even if your spouse doesn't have time for you. Even if your spouse is never home. Even if you are never home. Even if everyone else is doing it. Even if you have "needs". There is absolutely no reason that is justification for infidelity.
Are you being unfaithful? If you have been justifying your actions with poor excuses now is the time to stop!! It is time now to let go of the lies and the deception and seek first the kingdom of God. It is time to let go. It is time to go to God and then to your spouse and beg their forgiveness. The Bible teaches us in 1Corinthians 4:4 - 5 For I know nothing by myself yet I am not hereby justified: but he that judgeth me is the Lord. Therefore judge nothing before the time ,until the Lord come, who both will bring to light the hidden things of darkness, and will make manifest the counsels of the hearts: and then shall every man have praise of God.
This verse tells that all things done in secret God will make known. I have seen it happen time and time again where Gods brings out the secrets of man in order to bring him back to him.
God wants to forgive you for your acts of infidelity. Your Christian spouses also have the capability to forgive you. I can personally witness to that. I forgave my spouse. That forgiveness was hard in coming but when I let it go, I finally felt better. When I left the hurt, pain, anger, bitterness and revenge at the cross I left my broken heart there as well.
After confessions have been made and the initial trauma of it all wears off you, the adulterer, will also have to leave your burden of guilt at the alter and accept the forgiveness God has given you.
I ask you how far into the web of deceit must you go before you realize that you have done an dreadful thing. I think a lot of times God allows us to continue in our sinful behaviors because if we get away with it to easily we will be more inclined to do it again. So sometimes we have go lower than the low to get to the point where we can completely surrender to him for forgiveness. Even in David's case if Uriah had only come home and went to his wife the whole mess would have been over and possibly David may never have fully realized the impact of his infidelity. He possibly would have tucked the incident away and never fully repented of the wrong he had done. But God wants us to repent of our sins, acknowledging them is part of the battle. We have to really get to the point of being overwhelmed with the weight of our sin before God can take it away from us. I once heard it said it takes a desperate man to seek out God. Desperation is the key. We have to desperately want forgiveness.
If this has been written for you, I urge you to purge your life of the infidelity that is threatening to overtake it, before your situation gets to the point of desperation that David experienced.
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