The following was taken from a radio interview in April 2008, with Ian M. Asotte, the author of " S.O.B.E.R., How the Irritating Acronyms of Alcoholics Anonymous Helped Get One Drunk Sober" :
Q. How do you know if you're an alcoholic and not just an enthusiastic social drinker? . Unlike other diseases, there is no test for alcoholism.
A. Unfortunately, one doesn't know one has it until a string of bad things happens like job loss, marriage break-up or physical problems with the liver or pancreas. And then we still deny it. They don't call it the disease of denial for nothing. For me it was delusion; I just couldn't visualize myself as an alcoholic because I wasn't yet sitting on a curb in a rumpled rain coat nursing a brown paper bag. I was 46 when I came into AA and had been drinking ever increasing amounts of ethyl alcohol products yet I still didn't think I was a true alcoholic.
There is a strong genetic component to alcoholism but environmental situations can kick it off too. It doesn't matter if it's DNA or experience once a pickle never a cucumber wilt thou be again.
Q. How did your alcoholism affect your family?
A. I was mentally and emotionally absent a lot. Outwardly, the family was normal, even admired by outside folk. But the inside story was not at all good. I traveled a lot, which enabled me to drink on the employer's nickel, yet when I was home I was drinking and therefore absent also. It placed a tremendous burden on my wife to keep the family in tact and for her to provide the attention to the kids that I couldn't or wouldn't give them.
It also created a barrier between me and the wife. We were never truly emotionally close. I had a secret life on the road and that created a wall between us. We did not share the deepest innermost feelings because I had to be careful not to disclose my secrets. When extreme financial difficulty hit two years into sobriety, we did not have the bond of friendship we should have had to survive as a couple and the marriage broke.
Q. What was it that brought you to Alcoholics Anonymous? A. I came home one night dragging two 4-liter bottles of cheap white wine with me as usual. There was nothing unusual about that evening except we were invited to a neighbor's house for dinner because a mutual friend, a priest, had come to town. I drank excessive amounts of white wine before dinner, lots of red wine with dinner and a half bottle of brandy after dinner. I blacked out, something I had never done before. They say, when it came time to leave, I fell off the neighbor's stoop, rolled down a hill and spread-eagled in the street, completely in a stupor. To this day I don't remember anything about the last part of that evening.
The next morning when I woke up, I had the worst hangover ever and thought, literally that I was going to die. My blood pressure was extremely high, probably in the stroke zone. I gobbled down half a handful of aspirin and just tried to stay alive. I never went to work that day. I went to the doctor the next day and he suggested I go to an AA meeting. That's how I got to AA.
Q. We're you ever fired because of your drinking?
A. I was never fired directly due to drinking or absenteeism related to it. I was fired in a gentlemanly fashion from my first professional job after 14 years because of my abrasive attitude towards upper management. I kept telling them they didn't know how to run the business. Eventually, they got tired of it and suggested I should pursue opportunities elsewhere. I attribute my bad attitude at that time to my drinking.
Q. Why did you write S.O.B.E.R.?
A. There are many good books out there on the spiritual aspects of recovery and the workings of Alcoholics Anonymous. I wanted to show the lighter, humorous side of AA and what a typical mind goes through during the recovery process. It's a combination of insanity and satire that's unique to AA. We laugh at a lot at things other people (those non-alcoholics we call earthlings or normies) would think are horrible. They are! But it makes the recovery process tolerable.
Q. Some people don't think alcoholism is funny yet you use humor throughout the book, why? A. If it wasn't for the humor I encountered during the first meeting I went to I don't think I would have gone back. I was surprised by the self-deprecating humor. It wasn't humor at someone else's expense. It was directed only at the alcoholic himself, the one who was speaking. It that way, the humor projected a certain sincerity that stunned me. They were laughing like hell at the stupid things they had done.
Alcoholism is a disease and, while it's deadly, it does often result in situations that are hilarious, at least in retrospect. How about a guy seriously designing a bulk storage and distribution system for wine for his home? I had a drawing and a complete bill of materials for a 200 gallon storage tank, plastic tubing and five spickets for the family room, dining room, living room, master bath and back porch all worked out. I only gave up on the idea when the state of Pennsylvania informed me they frowned on bulk delivery of alcohol products to the home.
Q. Who did you write the book for?
A. Three distinct groups of people; first the recovering alcoholic. They will relate to the characters as portrayed and the humor that seems to be almost universally found in rooms all over the world. Secondly I wrote it for the person struggling with the possibility of their own alcoholism. The book is a non-threatening way to assess your behavior and whether or not AA might be the answer. Lastly, I wrote it for the families and close friends of alcoholics who might better understand how the process of recovery works and that this disease is a sickness not a weakness. They can also gift an anonymous copy of the book to the alcoholic from our website.
By the way, those three groups taken together represent about 100,000,000 people in the United States alone or nearly 1/3 of the total population.
Q. Why so many acronyms and what does the acronym S.O.B.E.R. stand for?
A. Acronyms, one-liners and non-sequiturs are an integral part of recovery lingo. They help drive home key points on how to get sober and stay that way. I used approximately three dozen acronyms in S.O.B.E.R. and I have a list of over 50.
As for S.O.B.E.R., find out what it means in Chapter 12! I didn't put it on the cover because some people might find the definition a bit crude. I also won't say it on the radio so the FCC doesn't pay a visit to my host.
Q. I. M. Asotte is a pseudonym. Why did you feel it necessary to use a pen name?
A. To honor AA's Tradition 11, which states: "Our public relations policy is based on attraction rather than promotion; we need always maintain personal anonymity at the level or press, radio and films."
A "sot" is defined in the dictionary as a drunkard. I AM ASOT is a silly but poignant pseudonym. My publisher had to get his two cents worth in by adding the second "t" and the "e" on the end, making it French, which is my heritage.
Q. Are the characters in the book real?
A. Almost every character is real, although I changed names to protect the guilty, the innocent and also myself from my ex-wife. The rehab romance between Janet-from-another-planet and Love-muffin is not based on specific characters but is a stereotypical composite of the clouded mentality that people exhibit towards relationships in early recovery.
Q. What is esober.com all about?
A. Our website is designed to explain the book and the purposes behind it as well as to eventually provide a forum for recovery information and exchange of ideas. There are two excerpts form the book posted on the site. There are also links to articles written by I. M. Asotte and a link to the Esober blog where anyone can post their questions and thoughts.
Q. What message would you like to leave with our listeners?
A. Simply that alcoholism is a deadly disease and must be treated seriously but that doesn't stop you from having fun in recovery! There is a way out of alcoholism and yes, there is life, an abundant, joyful life after drinking even for the lowest bottom drunk.
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