Why do we use break-up lines, and does anyone really know what they mean?
Being in a relationship takes work, on both sides, but what happens when one of you are ready to move on, and are trying to ease out of the relationship, trying to maintain their dignity, and not impune on yours?
They use break-up lines.
I recently wrote a few articles featuring some pick-up lines, and that's basically getting you on your way to developing a relationship with someone with whom you are attracted to.. but what about the other end of the scale?
The other end of the scale, break up lines are geared toward getting out of a situation in the most amicable manner, without confrontation.
Breaking up is hard to do, making choices that are right for you, and hurting other's feelings in the process is tough. But if you strongly feel you no longer have a connection with that ohh so special someone, and you no longer wish to be bonded with them, than ending it is fair better a solution than drudging it on, and ending up hating each other in the long run. As partnership breaks down, a lot of hurt and angry feelings can come out, and if you are smart enough to foresee disaster, acting on it might be the best choice for you. It will hurt, both of you will hurt, but wasting precious years for both of you isn't worth it if your hearts aren't in it. Your sweetheart deserves better, and so do you.
Here's some typical break-up lines that lovers use.
10. I'm moving to another state. Aka I'm going to work in China for a year.
Trans: I'm admitting that I'm a big chicken who's afraid to be honest..
* Ok, that is lame, unless they really are.
They are trying to tell you that they urgently want this relationship over, for good, and they are willing to tell you a whopper of a lie to avoid hurting your feelings, plus they are a big chicken who's afraid to tell you the truth.
The China one is even more lame then the state one, but it's been used. I'm sure you can see through it, unless it's true, and you know it is. Calling them on it, will only make you look petty along with them, so it might be wise to just laugh it off, and counter with-And all the best to you, and I'm off to Mars on a mission next week, and won't be around anyway.. ha
9. It's been great getting to know you, but it's time we got to know other people.
Trans: I'm bored with you, and ‘am already looking.
It could be that your lover is losing interest, or that the relationship isn't all that they dreamed it would be. It's ok that they don't click with you, there is nothing wrong with you, or what you do, it means that they just like different things. Being different is what makes us unique, and your unique qualities will click with someone else. You just need to hang in there. There are probably things about them that are unsettling to you, and maybe it's a good time to take note. You really didn't need them all that much. It would be wise not to try to examine yourself or the relationship too much, some people you just can't please, and maybe they will never be satisfied. You did your best, and you can chalk it up to a learning experience.
8. Can I call you sometime? Aka, Maybe I'll call you sometime.
Trans: Don't hold your breath, I was lucky to get through this date.
* They aren't going to call, so don't go home and wait by the phone. Keep dating and write it off to a learning experience.
7. I'm not ready for a commitment.
Trans: I only wanted to have fun with you, looking for a bed buddy, or a party friend, and now it's worn off, so I'm looking for my next prospect.
Saying they are not ready, is like saying will you please wait for me to be. Can I waste years and years of your life, while I party and have fun, and drag you along incase I'm bored or lonely?
Falling for that one can be detrimental to your mental health. Some people take it as a challenge to help them get over it. Like a cry for help. It leaves an opening where they can still keep you on a string, but are giving themself enough rope to play around with other people. If you are fed this line, it might be wise to just let them go, and move on. No point in wasting your time with a game player, and that's a game player line.
The only thing good about this line, is that they aren't keeping you on a string, and cheating behind your back, they are giving you the option to walk away, in letting you know they only date to have fun. They are telling you that they are looking for others to play with, and are upfront about it, in such a way that they are expecting you to accept that, and stay put, allowing them to misuse your relationship for their personal gain.
It's up to you to keep them away, if you want a committal relationship, you would be wise to accept that they don't want a commitment with you or anyone, and they are using that as an excuse to use you, and probably others. In a way they did you a favour, and now it's up to you to guard your heart, so they can't hurt you again.
6. You can do better than me, aka You're too good for me.
Trans: I am looking around, because you're not the one.
This line is a bitter truth one, and if you are fed it, you'd be wise to learn from it. This person clearly isn't into you, and doesn't want to look like the bad guy. So they are trying to get out of the relationship as cowardly as possible. They don't mind taking the blame as long as it makes them look pitiful, and sympathetic. If you are fed this line, forget about it, just smile sweetly and chalk it up, "Yep, come to mention it, I am too good for you. Thanks for pointing that out to me."
5. It's been fun, but I'm not good enough for you.
Trans: I was looking for a good time, and I'm ready to have fun with someone else.
*If you are fed this line, it could mean that
1.They wanted you for one thing, got it, and now they are moving onto the next one.
2. They were looking for a good time, and are addicted to the early relationship high, that's now worn off.
Or 3. They are just out for the party, and run away when the party partner starts to get serious.
Some people are commitment phobes, some stay that way their entire life. If someone feeds you this line, let ‘em go, and chalk it up to a learning experience, and you'd be wise not to let them back. People who normally use this line are like a coydog, they'll circle back when they are bored, and everyone else is busy. They might come back with, I've been doing soul searching and maybe I am good enough for you now. Lame, Lame, Lame!
4. ‘It's not you, it's me.'
Trans: ‘It is you, but I'm afraid to be honest.' So cliché, don't go there.
A lot of my guy friends use this line, they think it makes the let down go more smoothly, taking the blame for something. If someone throws you this line, it doesn't mean they hate you, nor does it mean that there's anything wrong with you, it just means they like different things than you, and they can foresee disaster. In that case, you will end up hating each other in the end. When someone gives you this line, it will hurt at first, but someday you will be thankful, that they left before you wasted years on them.
3. We can still be friends, aka, let's be friends.
Trans: I want to break up with you, but I don't want to make enemies, and I'd like to keep connected with you, if the other prospects don't work out, or I'm bored or haven't had it in a while, and everyone else is busy, I'll call you.
*Asking you to stay friends when you feel strongly about them is unfair to you. You will be hurt no matter what, when you see them with someone else, and nine times out of ten, what they are trying to do, is string you along, keeping you around, incase they get lonely, and you are on the bottom of the list. If they don't want to be in a relationship with you, and that's all you want from them, then accept it, and it might be wise to keep them out of your life. To give you time to get over things, and find someone new. It's ok to not hate them, it's even ok, that you both don't think of your ex relationship as a nightmare. But in getting over someone who breaks your heart, it's best to have alone time, and they need to give you that. Being the one who's heart was broken leaves you vulnerable, and keeping that connection might make it easier for you to accept the break-up, but it also leaves you open to getting hurt again. You might be wise to close the door on them being able to bounce back and fourth and keep hurting you, if they end it, then don't come back.
2. We need some space, aka, let's take a break.
Trans: I want to date other people, but I'd like to keep you around in case it doesn't work out.
*If someone tells you this line, you'd be wise to just let them go, if they are to the point of saying that, then they are already looking for prospects, and you're just going to get hurt if you don't agree with them. But out of dignity to yourself, it might be a good idea to write them off, and not take them back. There's a good chance they are trying to keep you on a line, in case the other relationship doesn't pan out.
1. I think we should see other people.
Trans: I already ‘Am seeing other people, so you should catch up.
*If someone throws you this line, they are confirming that they aren't that into you, and you're relationship is over. It would be wise just to accept it, and move on.
There you have it.
Hope it helped in some way, atleast in the understanding of what they mean. If you are breaking up with someone, please just be honest with them, and tell them the truth. And promise you won't try to make them think it's temporary just to spare their feelings. Leaving them hanging is, wrong, wrong, wrong. It's going to hurt no matter how you slice it, but it hurts worse when you don't know why. Why, Why Why.. ohh the poor soul's that spend their life wondering why. Do them a favour and tell them why, so they have closure and can move on, too.
Peace be with you,
Sacreeta
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