If you have been following my written accounts of life according to me you know my latest obsessive compulsion is vegetable gardening. The weather has been warming up and the plants are ready for their foray into the great jungle known as Mike Fak's back yard. It's good that it's time for planting as we almost can't walk through the kitchen right now with all the bean and tomato plants lying everywhere. The kitchen is 14' by 24' so that tells you how anal I got with my seedlings. I single handedly created a local shortage for peat pots by the way.
The first thing to do before planting of course is to till up a garden. Since we hadn't had one in two decades this was no easy chore.
We decided to run a three foot wide garden along a cyclone fence in the back for several reasons. First is that we could lean over and work the garden without being in the garden. I refuse to step into the dirt and leave any footprints. Secondly, the neighbor has flowers on the other side and this area is the one place in my yard where the real grass grows. No doubt due to the good stuff the neighbor puts in the soil that has snuck over to my side of the fence.
I went and got a small tiller from a friend because I was fearful of catching the fence with a bigger tiller and I couldn't get my bulldozer started after leaving it out all winter. The little tiller had a tough time at first since the ground was like concrete but eventually it started chewing into the dirt and then it started really plowing deep into the soil. I'm sure I went a little too deep since my wife had to get the extension ladder and lower it in the hole so I could get back out.
I wanted the soil plowed deep recalling my first garden where I had eight inch carrots. The problem was they were eight inches in diameter but only two inches long because the soil was too hard as I hadn't tilled deep enough. That won't happen this year. In fact the city stopped by and asked if they can run a new sewer line in my trench before I smooth the dirt back into the hole.
I told them that would be fine as long as the new pipe had a few holes in it allowing me my own aquifer of underground manure to feed my plants.
As I waited for the garden to be turned back over to me I decided to cut the grass again for clippings for mulch. I hate cutting the lawn and I always put the mower on the lowest setting; "hardwood floors" when I cut so I have some serious clippings along with top soil to add to the garden before next week.
There is a small possibility I might not plant a thing actually. I found out from a farmer friend of mine that I can get some serious money if I enroll in the government's "set aside" program. It appears there is fear that my 119 tomato plants might screw up the market. And I haven't told them about the beans yet. I could be rich just with the threat of starting a garden. This gardening is a great hobby.
Freelance writer, columnist, author and writing coach, ex-Chicagoan Mike Fak presently resides in Central Illinois. More information about Mike's services are available at his home website www.mikefak.com
Mike currently writes primarily humor columns for searchwarp bi-weekly and is the managing editor of www.lincolndailynews.com
Mike now offers a 26,000 word e-book on making money as a freelance writer for only $10.00 at this page. http://www.mikefak.com/id45.html
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