| A common theme: husbands complaining that their wives have lost their libido since they got married. Sometimes it's a lack of communication that needs working out but many times it is something else. Her libido can diminish simply because of the daily routine, the "rut" and stresses of life. The fresh beginning and infatuation of the young relationship is over; and with it, the butterflies and extra energy. Once married for a while, every day is almost the same and marriage becomes a drag. The more of a rut, the more stress is generated. When she has stress, her libido takes a nose dive.
The fact is, husbands stressed too. Unlike a woman, however, a stressed out husband would love a little sex to release the stress. So on one hand, men need sexual release when they're stressed and wives don't want it when they're stressed. Sounds like a serious conundrum doesn't it ?
Consider that many husbands lose their desire to romance their wives after the honeymoon is over. After you're married, the chase is over, and so is the fun , right? Wrong. When stress and the rut takes over, her desire for sex can dwindle over time to almost nothing.
How do you get her desire for you back? Quick response: cut her stress levels and romance her like you did when you first met. Take the reigns and advance from routine and taking your wife for granted to adding spark, passion and appreciation to your marriage.
You can begin by addressing the following areas:
1. Learn more about your wife. Sounds kind of silly: you already know your wife! But how much do you know her likes and dislikes. I'm talking the details. Do you know how she likes her sandwiches made? Do you know her favorite type of food? How does she order her salad? How does she take her coffee? Do you know what she dreams about? Learning these little things will benefit you in a big way. For example: if one morning you bring her a cup of her favorite tea made exactly the way she likes it, she will take note.
2. Be a husband your wife can trust. Never lie , never cheat, be dependable and do what you say you're going to do. It's more than the type of trust that comes with dependability - she has to trust you with her deep thoughts. How does one foster this deeper trust? It's in how you react to her. For example: what do you do when she deals with a sensitive pet peeve she has with you? Do you get defensive and sarcastic, or do you listen and discuss it with her. Anger will foster fear of approaching you - no trust there. She needs to trust you with her inner thoughts and feelings. Then she can be closer to you; which means she will want more of you.
3. Don't have expectations. When you're serving her, she's going to sense the "She better be hot tonight" idea bouncing around in your mind. Let go of that expectation and it will take the pressure off.
4. Serve your wife. Take time to work on giving her breaks and time to re-charge. If she has less stress, she'll have energy for more intimacy - and more passion.
5. Make connections with her. Your wife needs to feel connected to you on a deeper level. Not enough time? Then turn off the TV, make a drink, turn on some music and kick back and talk. Making this kind of connection will give you great results.
6. Let her know she's special. Romance and chivalry are not dead. If they are, then so is your sex life - or at least it will be. Hold hands, be sincere and tell her she's the prettiest woman in the world to you, leave her little love notes - do nice thoughtful things for her.
As you do these things, feel good about the joy you bring her. Love her and she will return love. It will become less like work and more like a passion - and then you'll see that she has passion and desire you forgot was there.
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