My girl is a master. I have shared before in my articles how manipulative my daughter can be with every action and word she makes. Don't feel sorry for her because that is what she wants-that is what she practices.
Yes, I have caught her even at the age of three practicing her fake crying face in the mirror. I ask God daily how something so deceptively evil could come from me.
Lately she has hit a whole new level. Yes, you heard me right. When I thought she could not get any worse, she has hit this stage. A stage that only can be described as a cross between whining, tattle tailing while crying? I am not even sure how to describe it. Examples can only explain.
We are driving to what should have been our son's last game today. Surprisingly, he won and therefore we are still playing, but that is an entirely different story. Go Rangers! Games are nightmares for me because of her behavior. It started off innocently as you will see.
Hannah: Mom, are my friends going to be there? (she plays sometimes with some of the other sisters on the team during the game)
Me: Yes, baby I think Amy is going to try and make it. (I changed her name for anonymity reasons, but as a point of reference she is a sweet two year old that is quite a bit younger than my daughter)
Hannah: Can I play with her?
Me: Yes, baby of course you can.
Fast forward five minutes in which Amy pulls up to the park.
Hannah: Can I run to her car and say hi?
Me: No baby, just wait until she gets up here.
Amy runs up and tries to tell my daughter that she has a pretty dress on while my daughter informs her it "isn't a dress!"
Amy: Well, I like your team shirt.
Me: Say thank you!
Hannah: But she said it was a dress.
Me: Hannah, say thank you.
Hannah: I did, but she just didn't hear me because she was saying it was a dress.
Keep in mind, these entire conversations are done in a high whiny voice. The girls then go to share popcorn that Hannah brought. Hannah goes back and forth from sharing to complaining that Amy is going to eat all of her popcorn. I try to explain that we have more popcorn in the car and it is ok to if she does.
Hannah: She is eating all the popcorn!
Me: Good, because we have more and we brought it to share.
The container is now empty.
Amy: Mom, I ate all of Hannah's Popcorn!
Both moms at the same time tell the girls that they did a good job of sharing the popcorn.
Hannah: No, I ate all the popcorn!
Amy: No I ate all the popcorn!
Hannah: I ate it all!
I am just sitting there in shock. My daughter will argue with anything. After, five minutes pass, my daughter finally gets her last word. Five minutes later she is walking away from Amy every time she comes up to her.
Hannah: Amy is following me.
Me: I know. She wants to play with you. You wanted to play with her. Play with her.
Hannah: Do you want to play with me?
Amy: Yes.
Hannah: Then why are you following me?
At this point, I have to step in and explain it again in three year old terms. I sit appalled as I watch my daughter turn around, go up to Amy and say, "Let's play tag, try and catch me." She then proceeds to run around the bleachers from this two year old for the next ten minutes.
Hannah: Can we play ball mom? Amy wants to play ball.
Me: Hannah you are not allowed to play ball because last time you were mean to Amy and would not share the balls. Remember you wanted the orange ball and would not let her play with it.
Hannah: I willllllll. (I don't know how kids can make one syllable words last for ten syllables). I will let her play with the orange ball.
Me: She will have to play with it the whole time and you are not good at sharing.
Hannah: I willlll, mom. She can have the orange one the whole time.
Luck would have it as I went into the dugout to steal some wiffle balls, my brilliant husband added more. There were now two orange ones. I hand one to Amy and one to Hannah.
Hannah: Mom, I want that one!
Me: Hannah, they are exactly the same! (I say in that annoyed mom tone). Do I need to take yours away and you not play?
Needless to say, she decided to keep the one she had. She and Amy run off to throw it in the corner behind the field. I again watch in shock as my girl manipulates Amy into giving her the ball.
I like to say that is all that happened today. But then, Hannah wouldn't be Hannah. We have her crying on her floor because she thought that her "bubba" came out of his room when he wasn't allowed to despite the fact that she heard my husband tell him he could come out. She just wanted him in trouble.
She demanded to nap on her terms in a pajama shirt despite the endless argument that it was just a nap. After a while, you give up and choose your battles.
I awake to my dozing off with her whining to tell me that "I am watching my movie all by myself. Daddy and bubba are asleep on the couch." I have to reassure her that it is ok for others to take a nap. I then watch as she climbs to get a straw out of the kitchen.
Me: What are you doing with that?
Hannah: I am drinking some of your tea. (She then proceeds to drink all of my tea)
At this point, all I can ask is "God, why me?"