The ABC's of Gardening
I have read some very interesting and informative articles which include the ABC’S of gardening. The articles remind me of the “Chicken Soup" series of every subject that exists. So, I thought I would list my ABC’S of gardening, and my husband’s ABC’s of gardening. Believe me, it will never make it in the chicken soup series. Take a note and see how verbal he is. I can never get him to talk or look at me when he is in front of the television. He gets angry whey I start to tell him things when we finally get in bed and there are no distractions. I think that is a perfect time to catch up on things I forgot to tell him. He calls it pillow talk, and it is not allowed. I get to talk once by mistake before I am banned to the couch to sleep with his snoring dog. He turns the radio up when we are in the car everywhere we go. If I say something he certainly can not respond because the radio is louder than the engine, the trucks, and the whining dogs in the back. I am not sure what he is trying to tell me. But, as he enters the herb garden he is all talk.
You may think to yourself, “ Isn’t that nice, they spend good quality time together in the garden." “What a lovely way to spend a day with your significant other." “This is an example of true love."
Don’t get too carried away. There are two lists of ABC’S, and one is not pretty. First of course I will list mine. Short sweet and interesting.
A- Anise I-Indigo Q-Quassia Y-Yarrow
B-Basil J-Jasmine R-Rose Z-Zanthoxylum
C-Coriander K-Kelp S-Sage
D-Dill L-Lavender T-Thyme
E-Echinacea M-Marjoram U-Uva Ursi
F-Feverfew N- Nutmeg V-Valerian
G-Ginger O-Oregano W-Wisteria
H-Hyssop P-Patchouli X-Xeranthemum
Okay, I know I stretched it a bit to find x and z. But at least they are plants. Now it is time to read my husband’s list. The following presentation is rate PG and may not be suitable for readers under the age of 13.
A-"Aren’t we done yet?"
B- “Bills, is that all there is on my desk, bills for the garden?"
C=“Can’t we quit weeding and go fishing?"
D-"Duct tape would attach those things to that trellis."
E-"Everything looks like a weed to me."
F- Fence “I know fixing the fence is high on my priority list to dear."
G- “Good bugs, are there really good bugs?"
H-" How far down does this root go, to China?"
I-“Ignore me dear, go ahead and ignore me." “I cannot stand up straight, I need my back brace, I am wet with sweat, but I am doing fine."
J- “Jewelweed" Do I pull it out or what?" “The name tells me it is a weed." “Correct?"
K- “ I wish your hobby was knitting."
L- “Lay down." “I am going to lay down right here and take a nap." “What does poison ivy look like?"
M- “Manure?" You want me to do what with it?"
N- “NO"
O- “Ouch, this plant bit me, I quit."
P-“Poop" Your cat just pooped where I put the seeds." “Now what do I do?" “I am not going to try to find the seeds okay?"
Q-"Quaint?" “ I don’t think that flower is quaint, it looks like it lacks hormones."
R- “Rats" “I just pulled something out that looks important."
S-Sweetheart “ Sweetheart, that is an herb?“ “I just threw it in the field." “Do I have to go and fetch it?" “I’m never going to get out of this garden."
T- Time “Time after time your good ideas end up costing me money and time." “That is an herb isn’t it?" “I guess I learned something today."
U-Understand “I understand that this garden is a magical place, but I can’t see the magic through the dirt on my glasses?"
V- Velcro “We could put Velcro on that vine and attach it to this long green thing" “It looks like bamboo." “Does it grow too?"
X- “I knew that this plant was X-rated."
Y- Yawning “Can’t you see I am yawning honey?"
Z-Zzzzzzzzzzzzz
As you can see the garden is a wonderful place to bond and share time with your loved ones. Do you think he is trying to tell me something? Do you think we have issues? Should I write to Dr. Phil? Oh well, I will try to figure it out this winter while I am catching up on my rest. I think I will look for a good gardening book to read.
Barbara Baker
Lavender T-Thyme
E-Echinacea M- Marjoram U-Uva Ursi
F-Feverfew N- Nutmeg V-Valerian
G-Ginger O-Oregano W-Wisteria
H-Hyssop P-Patchouli X-Xeranthemum
Okay, I know I stretched it a bit to find x and z. But at least they are plants. Now it is time to read my husband’s list. The following presentation is rate PG and may not be suitable for readers under the age of 13.
A-"Aren’t we done yet?"
B- “Bills, is that all there is on my desk, bills for the garden?"
C=“Can’t we quit weeding and go fishing?"
D-"Duct tape would attach those things to that trellis."
E-"Everything looks like a weed to me."
F- Fence “I know fixing the fence is high on my priority list to dear."
G- “Good bugs, are there really good bugs?"
H-" How far down does this root go, to China?"
I-“Ignore me dear, go ahead and ignore me." “I cannot stand up straight, I need my back brace, I am wet with sweat, but I am doing fine."
J- “Jewelweed" Do I pull it out or what?" “The name tells me it is a weed." “Correct?"
K- “ I wish your hobby was knitting."
L- “Lay down." “I am going to lay down right here and take a nap." “What does poison ivy look like?"
M- “Manure?" You want me to do what with it?"
N- “NO"
O- “Ouch, this plant bit me, I quit."
P-“Poop" Your cat just pooped where I put the seeds." “Now what do I do?" “I am not going to try to find the seeds okay?"
Q-"Quaint?" “ I don’t think that flower is quaint, it looks like it lacks hormones."
R- “Rats" “I just pulled something out that looks important."
S-Sweetheart “ Sweetheart, that is an herb?“ “I just threw it in the field." “Do I have to go and fetch it?" “I’m never going to get out of this garden."
T- Time “Time after time your good ideas end up costing me money and time." “That is an herb isn’t it?" “I guess I learned something today."
U-Understand “I understand that this garden is a magical place, but I can’t see the magic through the dirt on my glasses?"
V- Velcro “We could put Velcro on that vine and attach it to this long green thing" “It looks like bamboo." “Does it grow too?"
X- “I knew that this plant was X-rated."
Y- Yawning “Can’t you see I am yawning honey?"
Z-Zzzzzzzzzzzzz
As you can see the garden is a wonderful place to bond and share time with your loved ones. Do you think he is trying to tell me something? Do you think we have issues? Should I write to Dr. Phil? Oh well, I will try to figure it out this winter while I am catching up on my rest. I think I will look for a good gardening book to read.
Barbara Baker
|
