I have heard several times in my life, either by reading, or listening to others, that we pick the parents we want to be born to. What do we know while still a little seedling in Heaven, that prepares us to go by instincts in which parents to pick? That's a mystery that won't be answered on Earth, I'm sure. There are lessons that must be taught and learned. There is guidance in family, friends, teachers, mentors, and it appears we all have our own personal favorites. Our own defenders and overseers. Those who look out for us and try to steer us I the right direction. It's up to us if we want to listen or not. It's also up to us to determine if our predecessors are worthy of being emulated, or if we need to follow a different route.
Sometimes, we are Blessed with people in our lives that are angry and bitter, and we have to learn early on how to get around their attitude. This takes a focused and instinctual mind that sees danger when it comes our way, and moves on to the next person or situation we need to tackle. Sometimes, we need to learn patience, or strength, or even how to be angry without going over the edge. When this is the case, we usually have one parent, if not two, who teach is just that. It may be hard to handle as young children, but once out in society, most of our lessons prove fruitful and to our advantage.
If we had a domineering, angry, and seemingly unfair parent, it just may be what we need to survive on this Earth alone, once they are gone. The world is domineering, the world can be very angry, and the world can be unfair. If we learn how to deal with these feelings and emotions as kids, we will have a much easier time as adults. I remember being taught all the rights and wrongs, and the little idiosyncrasies of life growing up. My parents would walk into Basking Robbins with their four children, and we would be gently persuaded to move up in line, lest we lose our space. Of course, respect was a big thing in our home, and disrespect was not tolerated. My father was very demonstrative, and although I hated it at the time, it helped develop my strength and coping skills, and take care of myself in a world without him to protect me.
My mother was warm and loving, sweet and kind, she was a nurse, and possessed all the attributes it takes to be a good one. Her children always came first, and we knew it. We were all close to her, and learned how to bond to someone we care about through our relationships with her. It almost seems I grew up in two separate worlds, my father's personality, and my mother's natural being. However, somehow they meshed, and provided a person who had a hard shell, but a soft heart.
A person who knew how to work hard, and go above and beyond, and yet, not be taken advantage of, by knowing how to speak my peace. If I could go up against my father, the rest of the world was a piece of cake. When I had my kids, I was just as loving and caring and happy to be a mom as my own mother was. I was strict, but affectionate. I taught them the lessons I had been taught, and I made them abide by those rules. I was always hugging and kissing one of the three. Whatever I was supposed to learn by picking my parents, worked out well.
Unfortunately, my mom passed away from cancer, at the age of 59, 19 years ago, that was a heartache like none ever felt before. But out of it, came me stopping drinking, and never picking it up again, some fourteen years later.
The four years of pain and heartache saw many a bottle, though. Never when my kids were around, or I was the only one with them, and their father was at work. I maintained my sobriety by once again, using what I had assimilated through my parents. They new it was dangerous to drink and take care of kids, and I knew it, too, so I didn't do it.
I wouldn't have wanted any other parents but mine. My dad passed six years ago. He was an ex marine, a broad shouldered, tall, muscular man whom I absolutely adored. He was my protection, my hero, my safety. He was always telling sill jokes, half he made up off the top of his head, but he made his family laugh, and feel comforted and okay. He always worried about money, but somehow, he was always able to manage. We didn't have any left over, but we had what we needed.
I'm glad that if you really are allowed to pick your parents, I was smart enough to pick mine. I also know they are always with me, praying for me, guiding me, listening to me, loving me, caring for me, and I talk to them frequently. There is no doubt in my mind that they are listening. They help me feel calm in times of great turmoil. They make me feel comforted, simply on a daily basis, when nothing is wrong, and the sun is shining and the weather is warm. Their presence is always felt. Their energy was never disconnected. It's just coming from another place now.
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