So my friend forwards me The question of the day; she had to or else her belly button would have unscrewed and her butt would have fallen off. It's hard to believe, but it's true--it said so right at the bottom of the e-mail!
The question?
"Are you a Martha or a Maxine?" Gee, I don't know let me read on and find out.
For those of you who haven't seen the e-mail, following are a few things on the list so that you know where I am coming from--or rather, where I'm headed.
Martha's Way:
Stuff a miniature marshmallow in the bottom of a sugar cone to prevent ice cream drips.
Maxine's Way:
Just suck the ice cream out of the bottom of the cone, for Pete's sake! You are probably laying on the couch with your feet up eating it anyway.
Martha's Way:
Brush some beaten egg whites over the pie crust before baking to yield a beautifully glossy finish.
Maxine's Way:
The Mrs. Smith frozen pie directions do not include brushing egg whites over the crust, so I don't.
And my personal favorite...
Martha's Way:
When a cake recipe calls for flouring the baking pan, use a bit of the dry cake mix instead and there won't be any white mess on the outside of the cake.
Maxine's Way:
Go to the bakery! They'll even decorate it for you.
*********
Well, if this isn't offensive I don't know what is! I bake, thank you very much! Let me just tell you what an amazing baker I am.
A long time ago, I baked Banana Nut Bread. It looked so beautiful when I took it out of the oven. You would have just died for a piece--but then without warning, it sank. Flat as a board...so what if I forgot to add the four cups of flour--picky, picky!
Then there was the time I baked Oatmeal Chocolate Chip cookies. Yummy! So what if you had to use a hammer to break a piece off! I was always told, it is the thought that counts.
However, last night was the best! I was feeling a bit challenged by my dearest friend and little Miss Martha, so after dinner, I decided to bake a cake. I wonder if there is a box of cake mix and a can of frosting in the cabinet...yes there is!
"Hey guys, you want me to bake a cake?"
"No, it's okay."
"I don't mind"
"No, really...it's okay!"
"Fine I'll make it for myself."
I was humming away as I pulled out all the ingredients. So far so good. Then I searched for the mixer and the mixer thing-a-majiggers. Well, I don't know what I did, but as I was putting the mixer thing-a-majiggers into their appropriate slots, the mixer turned on and pretty soon my fingers were all tangled up! I let out a scream and my husband came running to make sure I was okay. He fought the laughter as long as he could and then simply said, "And you don't bake, why?"
Sigh. Oh well, I finished mixing the mix and went to grease the pan...
what was it Martha said to do? Oh, never mind, Maxine said the boxes don't call for anything like that and I should really be going to the bakery..so I'm way ahead of the game.
I must say, 34 minutes later, we had the best cake ever. My husband and my son even had two pieces, so there.
My baking skills have improved dramatically over the years, and my mommy always says that practice makes perfect. So, outta my way Martha, here I come!
Alright, fine. I admit it. I am a Maxine, through and through and I'm okay with that.
Second to Patti, Marie Calendar is my best friend.
