Every Spring in New England is marked by a gradual warming of the weather, rain, and the sprouting of new growth.
Shortly after the perennials have made their way out of the soil, it becomes apparent that the weeds have also benefited from the improved conditions and they are quickly threatening to overtake the garden.
I love weeding. It's a way for me to reconnect with the natural world after spending so many months holed up in my man made environment. I love the smell of the damp earth and seeing the worms wriggle when they are uncovered. I especially love the smell as I clean underneath and around my lavender plant; it's like a sitting near a basket of potpourri, immediately soothing my soul.
Every year as I weed my way through the various flower beds and around the shrubs in my yard, I'm struck by the parallel processes of weeding and that of personal and spiritual growth.
When I first begin to tackle the flower beds, they are covered in the leaves that blew in from the previous fall, a few random scraps of paper, and the weeds that are quickly overtaking the space. Each spring, I have to remind myself not to feel overwhelmed. The trick to weeding is to start with the most obvious things and to work your way down to the detail.
First, I pick out the pieces of paper and debris, these are easy to remove and make a big difference in how the yard looks. Next, I rake, or gather out the leaves, doing this will uncover the weeds. As I take on the weeds I find the ones that vine out first, knowing that tugging on one will usually result in removing a large intertwined clump of growth. Next, I move down to the individual weeds, grab them at the roots, or dig down to grab the tubers and pull. Finally, I begin to lift up the edges of the perennial leaves, carefully picking between the stalks to grab only the weed stems and tug. By following this process, the job of weeding is broken up into manageable tasks and is much less overwhelming than it first appeared.
Personal growth works in much the same way. When you first approach, your mind is a jumble of thoughts and emotions. It's difficult to sort through what the real problems are and what is just clutter that adds to and masks the deeper issues.
In order to get to those deeper issues, that clutter needs to be cleared away. I find that if I work on taking care of things that are nagging at me, things like catching up on laundry, putting dishes away and doing a quick sweep of the house with the vacuum, I am able to remove a huge amount of stress that was weighing me down and taking up space in my head. This is like pulling out the scraps of paper that blow into the garden over the winter.
Next, I try to keep up with the bills - finances are another thing that I'm happy to use as an excuse to avoid working on bigger issues. If I keep up with my bills and have a regular schedule to address them, finances don't add to that mind clutter. For me, bills are like the leaves that cover everything else up. I need to handle them before I can make any progress.
Once the basic housekeeping is done, I take on the larger issues, like those vining plants. These are the things that are easily handled, but if left unattended to, grow into larger problems. So, I take care of the phone calls to friends or family members that have gone unanswered. In so doing, I can clear those nagging voices out of my head - my voices telling me that I'm being selfish and ungrateful to others in my life.
As a lot of the debris and easier tasks are handled, I'm now able to see more clearly where the problem "weeds" are. I can decipher the things that are within my realm of control and those things that need closer attention and care to deal with. Now I'm free to examine whether there are things that I've avoided or ignored that are now intertwining with my creativity and ability to form deeper connections with those around me. One by one, I tackle those issues - making a decision about whether or not to trade the car in, deciding whether or not I want to take on a volunteer commitment, or even, being honest with an acquaintance abut the fact that I have been out of touch because I'm not sure we have enough similar interests to continue a friendship.
Finally, I can get down to the more difficult things - the ones that are underneath those perennial leaves. These are the deeper, more involved issues that have the potential to choke out significant growth and development if they are allowed to fester for too long. Some of these I'm able to tackle in time and with guided thought and processing. Others of these are too difficult to tackle alone. Sometimes I need to pull in some extra help to work them out and separate them from the fertile soil in my mind. It isn't always easy to work on these and it would be much easier to leave them covered up and ignored but I know that if choose not to address them, they will hold me back, stunting my growth eventually.
It is the process of clearing out these deeper, more intertwined issues that I can begin to experience personal or spiritual growth. By clearing away the clutter and weeds in my mind, I make space for the roots of more positive forces to take root and to grow.
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