The human spirit has so many needs to varying degrees; some of these are Be Accepted, To Accomplish, Be Acknowledged, Be Loved, Peace, Power, and Certainty. Then within each category we customize it. For example within Honesty one could customize it as forthrightness, tell all, loyalty, uprightness, frankness, no lying, no censoring, sincerity, no secrets or something else.
Some needs are stronger for some than others. What are some of your strongest needs? To get closer to your need, ask yourself: What do I need to be my best? If I had this, I would be able to achieve my goal and vision without effort. Do this before you read any further. What was the need that surfaced for you?
Now that you know what your greatest need is, how well is it being met?
Do you have a boundary in place that protects your heart, soul and self? A boundary is a safety line you draw that only allows the behaviors of others that are acceptable and nourishing to you. What are the behaviors of others that nourish you? What are the behaviors of others that are unacceptable to you? The line between those things is your boundary.
Do you have an automatic way for your need to be fulfilled? What do you need from others to get your need met? If you have a need for financial security have you communicated with your spouse or financial advisor how to best meet that need? Maybe you need to be included on spending decisions, or be included on a yearly meeting with your financial advisor, or you want to be more involved in bill paying? What ever you come up with put it into action.
At what level are your personal standards? Personal standards are the behaviors you hold yourself accountable to. These are as simple as do not steal to as complicated as holding yourself accountable for how others interpret your actions in spite of your intentions. Your personal standards should stretch you without setting yourself up to fail.
Once you have identified your need, set boundaries, and created automatic ways for your needs to be filled your personal standards will rise because you will want to keep having that need met in better and better ways.
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Jodi Rosenberg is an action-oriented life coach with tips and strategies to help you create the life you most desire.
