Understanding in relationships can be quite challenging.
There are times when a woman...wanting to get her point across to a man...will come off as nagging, complaining and Hard to Please.
A man likes to win. He likes to make his woman happy. He usually won't stay with a woman who tells him what to do.
Consider for a moment, this seemingly innocent scenario:
Last week, Rose met a man who said he was very attracted and interested in her.
Instead of asking her out on a date or for a cup of coffee, he told her about a business gathering and invited her to come network.
Rose turned him down and told him she didn't like the fact that he invited her to a business matter rather than just asking her out based on the fact that he clearly showed he was interested in her. (Ouch!)
She's sad because she was really interested in him. She turned him down because she's tired of men hiding behind business in order to get close to her.
This is sad.
Sad because the man invited Rose out to get to know her in a safe, non-threatening way. It's very possible for romance to occur under the guise of a business deal.
Sad because Rose didn't know how to guide the man into romancing her. In her mind, she gave him advice to help him please her.
Instead, she Neutered him. She didn't mean to. She just didn't know.
It's frustrating for a man...when he's doing his best to give to a woman and make her comfortable...to be told something else would please her more.
Often a woman will read into a man's behavior and think he's doing his best to annoy her. She'll complain, "You should have done that" or "invited me there" or "given me this instead". What she's saying is, "I want more/better/different than what you're giving me."
And she's inadvertently castrating him.
If the man does what a woman requests, he's her "wittle boy.""Wittle boys" aren't generally respected by women.
If he chooses to go against her and do it his way, he's her arch enemy. It's hard to love an enemy.
Neither one is content or satisfied.
So what to do?
Ladies, simply say, "Yes. Thank you. Please."
Stop naggin' over nothin'!
Keep your mouth closed and do it his way unless what he proposes is unethical, illegal or immoral.
When a woman constantly tells a man what to do, he avoids her. And eventually he'll leave saying, "I'm sorry I can't please you. Go find someone who can."
The woman doesn't understand why he's gone. "I was only trying to help him," she laments.
Ladies, stop Neutering him by helping him. Let him do it HIS way and appreciate what he has to offer.
Cherry Norris is a renowned celebrity dating coach, workshop director and popular speaker. Cherry's passion is helping people build healthy, intimate romantic relationships.
» left by Sandra E. Graham(2,260) Sandra E. Graham from Paragould, Arkansas, USA (191 days 17 hours ago.)
Wonderful article, Cherry. I, like most women, I'm sure, had never given much thought to these actions; but after reading this article and thinking about how it would appear to the man, you are absolutely right. Thanks for the insight. Sandra.
» left by dave potchak from central PA (191 days 5 hours ago.)
Great article, and catchy title. I have to admit that it caught my eye, and thank God did not catch me anywhere else, where it may hurt. Great insight, well done, dave potchak, searchwarp contributor.
» left by Danny Davids(16,486) Danny Davids (191 days 4 hours ago.)
A-frigging-MEN, Cherry! Lucky you--as a female, you can tell women what they need to do and they'll accept it. God knows I've tried, and gotten my behind chewed royally. Thank you!
» left by Camille Strate(1,378) Camille Strate (191 days 3 hours ago.)
Cherry~ BRAVA! I've been trying to tell my lady friends this for YEARS! It's funny to me...that as 'smart' as women are said to be, they have such a hard time with this simple concept. I, for one, find it quite easy to negotiate with men, and have for most of my life. Must be one of the 'lucky ones'. I applaud your well-written missive. Here's to hoping all the ladies finally 'get it'. Think how wonderful THAT would be...for all of us! And, by the way, as an addendum...men are really quite easy to please to. All we have to do is APPRECIATE them. I love that they're from another 'planet'! It's far more fun this way!
Blessings, Madam!
Camille Olivia Respond to this comment
» left by Jeff Brown(8,177) Jeff Brown (190 days 22 hours ago.)
How true. And I just may leave. It's a sad fact, isn't it.
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