So you're the adult child of a shut-in elder. In honor of those days when you were little and dependent, when they amused you when you were ill and looked for things for you to do on rainy days, it's time to get a bit creative, perhaps.
If your elder parent is at all interested in handwork or art, look for safe ways they can nurture that tendency.
For example, art supplies are good for all ages. My mother was an artist in her day; she formed an artist community that is now 100-artists strong, and which recognizes her labor of love on their website.
And while her hands are very unsteady these days she has put her love of the visual into some really avant garde scrapbooking.
Don't be surprised if the creativity allows your elder friend to express some negative emotions. My sister got her a very fancy leather/parchment handmade scrapbook in Italy, expecting her to fill it with genteel pictures and memories, and was shocked to see what Mum did with it ;) Having an emotional outlet is a good thing, and some elders feel they have to be "up" all the time so people will enjoy being around them. While an inspirational elder is a wonderful thing, so is honest self-expression.
This stuff is like some of the really bizarre stuff you see from top artists -- a lot of cutting and pasting and such going on. I totally get it - she's like an avant garde Grandma Moses.
I came across some booklets of paper samples and gave those to her and she's having a ball with them.
Having a product -- actually producing something -- can be a satisfying thing for someone who has been productive all their life but been sidelined by disability. It can also be something to talk about and show visitors -- so if you can find something interesting about that product, do so. The use of color, the combination of textures -- even the neatness of the pages -- all are fodder for discussion.
Even if you're at a distance, you can get a cheap phone plan and find innovative ways to make airtime fly. When small talk got tiny as I chatted with my father, who was bed-bound, I read to him from favorite writers -- Emerson, Frost, Service, L'Amour, Dobie.
My mother takes an interest in the newsy emails I read to her that have come to me from others.
Even though some elders don't have access or capacity to use computers, they can experience the wonders of the Internet vicariously. I used Google to learn fascinating facts about my father's family, and then I read them aloud to him. He was genuinely fascinated.
Anything your elder asks or wonders about can be fodder for a computer search and shared discovery. As long as we live, our minds need input.
In art and in communication, this is one way to get another generation involved. Young ones can help cut or paste, or find things to bring to Grandma for her scrapbook. Older children and teens can read aloud.
And if you're not in the habit, it's very doable to close the conversation with "Love you, Mom" or "Love you, Grandpa" -- even if your elder's unaccustomed to talking in affectionate terms, at this time in their life, an assurance of love is likely a good thing. Right?
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information presented herein intended to substitute for the advice provided to you by any health care or other professional
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