Using a divorce mediator is a painful experience to go through under any circumstances. If you started the process it can be a challenging emotional period.. Mediation can assist you and your soon to be ex to put in place a good agreement and have it done with much less stress than happens in most divorces.
Remember Mediation won't save the marriage. It's not going to try to get you back together. A mediation is a neutral third party method that helps you put the past behind you and assists you in negotiating a fair settlement.
The divorce mediator is not an arbitrator. A mediation can't make decisions for you, that much is up to you. The mediator is there to help control the situation and understand that in many cases emotions can be raw.
Using divorce mediator can save you time and money, because working through a lawyer is time consuming and expensive. Working through mediation and working out your settlement has many advantages.
First, a mediation is about gathering background information regarding the situation and determining if there are any problems. Then both parties should give the mediator financial information such as; Superannuation, real estate owned both in joint names and single names, retirement funds, investments, car, boats, etc. also any outstanding debts such as mortgages, loans, credit cards. This can be done together or separately.
With this stage completed the mediator needs to know about placement for children, visitation for the non custodial parent, and any alimony and child support. Also the division of property as in who gets the family home, who gets the holiday cottage, the division of other debits and the income of each party.
When all the information is on the table the mediation effort helps the parties negotiate a fair agreement. At this stage there will be trade offs, such as "you can have the boat but I want the car".
Many times these scenarios aren't acceptable so they are changed and negotiated until an agreement is reached that suits both parties. The mediator, while not making decisions for the parties often gives them ideas on to how to balance things and come to a compromise.
Once both parties are satisfied and preliminary agreement it's drawn up for your lawyer to look over. Once all revisions have been made to the satisfaction of both parties a formal agreement is signed and is binding. Your lawyer will be able to advise you on the laws of your state regarding these documents.
Using a Mediation can turn what started out as a nasty, bitter divorce into a smoother, more amicable parting. It also can make it easier not only for the two people concerned, but for any children involved to move forward.
For more information on all aspects of divorce, including how to effectively represent yourself, visit, "Great Divorce Advice."
» left by Susan Thom(8,322) Susan Thom (95 days 10 hours ago.)
hi matthew,
i have been going through a divorce the past year, gone through 3 mediations, one with the court, and 2 with an independent lawyer/mediator, and still no resolve. this has been the worst nightmare i could have ever imagined. and now i await a trial, and my home being taken away. it is not an easy process. thanks for sharing your info, it was a well written article.
best regards,
sue thom Respond to this comment
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