Most men think there's a magic word that they can say to talk to a woman. They think there's some David Copperfield type magic spell to magically get a woman to talk. On the Internet there's a million bad pick-up lines. There are guys who teach communication systems that are so complicated that you think you're learning Chinese.
While there is no such "magic word," there are three keys to communicating with a woman that work every single time. This is not earth-shattering stuff. This stuff is so simple . . . it's things you already know. People teach the most complex approaches to meeting women, and what I'm about to teach you is the simple approach that has worked every single time I or one of my students have used it.
Imagine something so simple that every single time you're talking to a woman, not only will you know what to say but you'll be able to get out of your head and enjoy the conversation with her. So, here are the three simple steps to communicating with a woman:
Step 1: Observe What She Is Doing: Take the example of a woman standing behind you in line at the supermarket unloading her groceries on to the conveyor belt. What is she putting on the conveyor belt? If she's behind you in line at Starbucks, what is she ordering? What is she eating? If she's standing in a bar by herself texting her friends, notice these things.
Notice everything she's doing. Instead of thinking about what to say, allow the environment to give you something to say. Most guys think of something to say that's so random that it makes absolutely no sense in a woman's mind. Women actually walk around and make fun of these guys and say "You won't believe what he actually came over and said to me."
Step 2: Acting On The Observation: In order to properly act upon the observation, you need to open her up and evoke a feeling. For instance, if a woman is ordering a double espresso at Starbucks, the thing to talk about is usually the first thing that comes to your mind.
Let me ask you a question: What do you think about when you see a woman ordering a double espresso at 8:00 in the morning? A typical guy might say "Do you like coffee?" which leads to a yes or no answer. A man who is 100% present and surveys what she is doing ahead of time will look at her and say "Rough night last night?" or "Busy day ahead and need to jump start your day?" What you're trying to do when you talk to her about something she's doing is to stay inside her head and remain in her current thought process.
It's much easier to have a conversation based upon things she's already experiencing. When you experience something, you're feeling something. A woman will share something that's already going on in her head.
Another example might be if you're standing at a bar, and you see a woman ferociously texting someone while standing there by herself. You can walk over and make an assumption saying "Is your friend late?" which the friend probably is because she's not going out by herself. This will in turn open up a conversation based upon feelings and emotions.
Women are emotional creatures. They want to bond with you emotionally. They don't want to bond with you randomly. This leads us to Step 3.
Step 3: Listen To What She Has To Say: In order to have good conversation and bond with a woman, you need to listen to what she has to say. If you listen to her, you will know what to say next based on what she's already talked about. It's called a conversation for a reason.
A lot of men always think about what to say next, or they have a script in their head about what to say next. That's not a conversation . . . that's a bad screen play.
For example, I was standing with a couple of clients on a corner in Williamsburg, Brooklyn. There was a woman standing there by herself with a suitcase obviously waiting for someone to pick her up for a weekend getaway. So what did these two guys do? They observed and they asked her:
Guys: "So where are you going?" Girl: "New Jersey."
Immediately one of them says:
Guy: "New Jersey? I'm from Tampa."
That's not a conversation. That is a guy changing the subject to talk about himself. They don't care about you right off the bat. The correct thing to say in this situation is this:
Guy: "Where in Jersey are you going?" Girl: "The shore for the weekend."
Now, in turn, the two guys can keep her present in her head about the weekend and ask her about her trip.
Guys: "Where in the shore for the weekend?" or "Wow, how long are you staying on the shore?"
If they listen and stop thinking about how to amuse her by telling her about how they're from Virginia or Tampa, they'll actually connect with her and have a whole conversation about the shore, vacations, and who knows where else the conversation might go. Men complicate things for no reason.
There are no magic lines that you can say, but in reality if men just talked to a woman like they talk to their closest friends they would have amazing conversations. Instead of constantly thinking about what to say, men need to just relax and listen to what women are saying. Do this and, and like the magic you're looking for, you're going to have great conversations. It's that simple! Get out of the house, observe, react and listen!
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