Sometimes when you walk down your path the crossroads can be very confusing.
Not all birthdays take me to crossroads but this last birthday lead me to a place where there were crossroads leading to directions that all have promise but of course there are no signs saying where they lead beyond the distance.
There's was a movie I was watching tonight that made me think about a quote:
"Isolation exists only in isolation, once shared it evaporates" .
Maybe we walk our path alone but there are always travelers that are walking to a future that holds promise just like we are.
The path makes you think of many things especially when you walk alone.
In my mind all I saw was mirrors.
Do we really live in our own house of mirrors with the illusion of youth always looking back at us?
What is age suppose to feel like? Older means what especially for me being a woman? Do I as a woman expect others to suffer my fears especially in this day and age of youth? Sometimes I wonder if I have walked my path to a point to where I have become blind to what is around me. My blinders felt so natural that I forgot I was wearing them. Once I remembered to take them off, the world around my path had changed. And the image looking back at me in the mirror, has she changed with the world?
Isn't this really our fear that we get left behind.............
This birthday reminded me that I am back to square one.
The release was overwhelming because I don't have anything to defend anymore.
I have realized that which I have always defended in the end didn't really matter. And what I see looking back at me in the mirror were points of view that have nothing to due with living life. As a matter of fact they became more important than my lessons.
My house of mirrors was full of images looking back at me from days gone by and each mirror held my fear of failure, hurtful truths, unworthiness and everything I held on to because my reflection constantly confirmed who I was.
This year on my new path I have decided to throw out all the mirrors.
Maybe I'll eventually see the real me but that doesn't even matter, what matters is that I allow my path to be what it is without bringing along the excess baggage that isn't mine anymore.
Maybe I'll even walk a path least traveled but one thing is for sure, I'll be able to appreciate the journey knowing the mirrors are gone and being myself will take on a whole new meaning.
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