Well this is a story about Fak's garden, number two. I call it number two since number one helped a momma rabbit and three baby rabbits get through the cold spring nights with a full belly. Out of roughly fifty tomato, cantaloupe and bean plants originally started I ended up with two that seemed to be too big for the rabbits to dig up and eat. Or maybe they just were bloated and couldn't eat another thing.
Anyway, I went and spent $30 on rabbit fence and proceeded to turn my garden into something that looks like the Guantanamo Bay prison. I have wire behind and in front of the new plants I have started and I have to admit the rabbit fence seems to be working. Just the other night I saw two of the babies window shopping my garden from the outside of the fence. It reminded me of those days when all us kids would glom all over the window at the corner bakery just wishing we could get at the chocolate clairs. I watched joyfully as the rabbits hopped away and I found myself pumping a fist in the air as I had proof my new fence would do its job.
Now this added expense has been produced because I am a big weenie. Let me explain. Last week, I started to pick up a pile of branches from trees and bushes I had cut in early March. As I started to do so I came upon the den of the little rabbits and watched as they scampered out of the thicket and headed down the alley. Now at this moment in time was my chance to destroy the rabbit's little home and rid myself of the little plant eating buggers but I just couldn't do it. I thought about them being out in the open and eventually being eaten by something bigger. And so I laid the branches back down over the shallow burrow and walked into the house fully accepting I have become one of those hippie peaceniks I hated in the 1960s.
I guess in a way the fencing was probably necessary anyway. Even if this brood of furry root eaters had in fact been eaten by the other wildlife that has no business in a busy town center, there are rabbits all over the place who would have taken their place. Especially since my garden had received four-star ratings in the Lepus Daily Bugle.
I'm having one of those goofy notions that I use to placate my weaknesses. I like to think that not evicting my illegal tenants might do me some good some day. I'm picturing standing before the Supreme Boss one day and seeing a little rabbit on his shoulders. I imagine the rabbit whispering in the good Lord's ear that I was one of the good guys and to give me a pass on a few of my slips over the years.
Ah, with my luck when I get to Judgment Day there probably will be a sign saying "Today's Menu Special; Rabbit".
Freelance writer, columnist, author and writing coach, ex-Chicagoan Mike Fak presently resides in Central Illinois. More information about Mike's services are available at his home website www.mikefak.com
Mike currently writes primarily humor columns for searchwarp bi-weekly and is the managing editor of www.lincolndailynews.com
» left by sue thom from nj (182 days 15 hours ago.)
hi mike, yes, those rabbits are pesky little things. i would like to have my tomatoes and cucumbers and lettuce in a salad, not in the belly of cute little furry animals. you did a good thing!
best regards,
sue
» left by Mike Fak(6,396) Mike Fak (178 days 21 hours ago.)
Thanks Sue. I have always said that if packages of meat came with a picture of the animal that they came from I would be a vegetarian. Mike
» left by Avis Ward(13,027) Avis Ward (179 days 8 hours ago.)
Okay, Mike. I read this and laughed. I wasn't going to comment but since reading it last evening, I have had these periodic visuals of you cooing to a bunny and trying to avoid rabbit-a-la-king in heaven. Take special care!
» left by Mike Fak(6,396) Mike Fak (178 days 21 hours ago.)
Thanks Avis. I'm a sucker for all baby animals even baby hippos whcih are mud ugly at any age. Mike
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