Log in to become a member of Susan Thom's Fan Club!
With so many households ending in divorce, I've often wondered, do our kids need to be conceived of their exact two parents in order to be who they are? If so, as painful as divorce is for everyone involved, it would be easier if we believed in this concept. Our kids needed to be born of the parents they were in order to be who they are. I have also heard many times throughout my life, that before we are even born, we pick who our parents are to be. We do this for the knowledge we will receive by being children of these certain parents.
This theory makes sense to me, but of course, I have no proof. I do, however, see character traits of both my kids' parents in their personalities, so the idea works for me. My kids are who they are, but they do have strong traits that mirror those of both their parents. They also have changed parts of their upbringing to better suit their lifestyle and their individuality. This upbringing also has a lot to do with who they are, but once they become adults, they seem to form more of a natural style of living that fits their beliefs, morals, and boundaries.
With the introduction of DNA, it appears even more so that our kids were meant to be born of the exact two parents. They are unique in their own right. Their DNA would have to be different if they were born of different parents, or of a different mother or father. Therefore, those going through divorce, should keep in mind that even though the road is hard right now, the children we hold so dear had to come to this Earth in the manner in which they did, to be who they are. We may no longer like the choice we picked, but we love our kids, and we should never lose sight that they were born of that marriage.
My mother had four kids. What if she had married someone other than my father? Would the four of us still be who we are? Maybe in personality and character, but certainly not in looks. I learned a great deal from my parents, and the morals and boundaries I have today are a direct result of their teachings.
Growing up with different parents would result in a different way of thinking and acting. Some of us may need to learn about the truth, and how important it is, and how damaging lying is, from a parent who lies all the time. Some may follow in their footsteps and act in the same manner. This may be their destiny, or they may realize one day that honesty will improve their lives and make them happier.
Others may want a mother who is creative, and allows them to explore their creativity with paints and clay spread all over the kitchen table. Some may need a stricter discipline to become who they are meant to be. Or, they'll let their kids show their creativity because they weren't allowed to. Parents who are strict may have a child who grows up to be calmer and more laid back, or they may follow in their parents footsteps and keep the strictness in their child raising.
With all things considered, I believe we picked our parents, and we do so for a reason. I also believe that in order to be who we are, we must be conceived by the two people who were meant to be our parents. This doesn't mean we have to agree with their points of view or their character traits, but we are theirs for a reason. It's all about learning how to cope in this world. Lessons we all need to form our character and our belief system. All parents are different, and all kids are different. But I think it's a safe bet that we are with the parents we were meant to be with.
Susan Thom is the mother of three children, two sons, 17 and 21, and a daughter 22. Writing calms her, and gives her a place to go. By herself! Clears the head and gets it out. She lives in a rural area, with a lake and mountains, her son and her partner, and has loved writing since she was a child.
She certainly hopes you enjoy her take on life, and her style of communicating that in stories.
She has been on a journey of self discovery for twenty years, and has learned many things about the human mind, and how to maintain some semblance of calm and peace within.
If someone reads one of her stories, and relates to her feelings, and maybe gets a suggestion on how she dealt with them in a positive way, that would be the ultimate gift of her writing.
Disclaimer: All information on this site is provided for informational purposes only! By no means is any
information presented herein intended to substitute for the advice provided to you by any health care or other professional
or organization.
