| Alcoholics who have a true addiction to alcohol, as a side effect of putting away the volume of alcohol only a true alcoholic can, are obliged to live an epic in the mind that doesn't involve the outside world.
Alcoholism causes a certain intensity in the life of the alcoholic through the continuous loss of the things in life that matter to the drinker the most. This is a form of excitement most people wouldn't wish on their worst enemy.
Throughout the losses, the humiliation, and the disintegrating self respect of the alcoholic, the alcoholic personality is split right down the middle.
The one half is the old, healthy, normal, pre-addiction self. The other half is the newer, sick, alcohol drenched entity that keeps telling the alcoholic that everything is going to be fine.
That is the peculiarity of alcoholism. The disease tells you "hey – you're not that bad!", or more confidentially "After 9:00 tonight, you can get as drunk as you like, and no one has to know".
So begins the internal war of the addict personality versus the healthier half of the personality that knows he or she has used up all of their drinking tickets in this life time, and if the drinking doesn't stop, the consequences are going to be even more dire.
When the drinker stops drinking, every cell in the drinker's body is protesting the deprivation of alcohol. Just because an alcoholic wants to stop drinking, doesn't mean the body is in agreement.
So the drinker decides to stop drinking and succeeds for a time. In comes the addicted part of the personality with a convincing argument that may go something like "You've been sober for awhile now, you can go back to drinking normally." "You can just have one or two drinks and stop at that." Or "You are not really an alcoholic, your drinking just got out of control for awhile." Take that internal dialogue combined with the physical longing for alcohol, and the alcoholic is primed for a relapse.
If there is building pressure in the life of the drinker at this time, the next round of drinking could be called relief drinking. Just to keep the wolves at bay. This round of drinking will relieve any withdrawal symptoms, make the drinker feel more normal because the drinker has given his or her body the poison it has been demanding, and drinking is a way to blow off emotional steam.
So goes the ongoing battle between the addicted self and the normal self. In reality, after an alcoholic stops drinking for a time and returns to it, fully believing that they can handle just a drink or two, the end result is the alcoholic drinks like he or she is making up for lost time, and sometimes will get into some kind of serious trouble, such as trouble with the law, as a result.
Drinking is a chronic disease. It never goes away completely. Even after you stop drinking for good, it will always be back there somewhere.
If you have a serious drinking problem and need help - This is how I was able to stop drinking finally:
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