Before you run onto the field as the quarterback for the most important game of the season, you have to be trained through each process, step-by-step until the big day—the moment when you actually play the game. This is what forgiving is like.
Not for the faint or weak at heart, forgiveness requires determination, guts, courage, and love. In fact, forgiveness is quite simple and practical when you follow the steps involved.
Step 1: Take ownership of the hurt and pain that you have experienced from a friend, family member, boss or colleague. This hurt cannot be hidden or ignored. You are the one who needs to deal with your hurt.
Step 2: Be honest about how you feel.
Step 3: Have a goal in mind. Know your reason for forgiving so that it will produce something you want to have happen in your life. The act of forgiving must push you to action.
Step 4: After you understand your hurt, are honest with yourself and have a goal in mind, then you must choose to forgive.
Step 5: Up until this point, all the steps have been about the internal process of forgive. Now it is time to speak out. Find that person you are choosing to forgive and tell them you forgive them.
Step 6: Don't use the offense as leverage against that "other" person.
Forgive and then leave it alone.
Step 7: No matter what that "other" person has done, your mission is to show them love after forgiving them.
Step 8: Take the attention off yourself and start praying for the person who hurt you.
Step 9: Attempt to build that relationship again.
Step 10: If necessary, choose to move on with your life even if your forgiveness is not accepted.
Now it's time to get in the game and play!
Paul J. Meyer is a New York Times best-selling author, multi-millionaire, entrepreneur extraordinaire … and a master at forgiving! In his book, Forgiveness—the Ultimate Miracle, he explains why forgiveness is such a necessary part of his life. Considered by many to be the ultimate book on the topic, get your copy at www.pauljmeyer.com or on Amazon.com.
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