What is required to have a successful and happy marriage and family is for all participants to take responsibility and to be accountable for their choices. As each person chooses to be accountable for their negative patterns in the marriage, he or she is free to create healthy relationship patterns. If you don't change with the person who is currently pushing your buttons, you will end up creating the same disharmonies with someone else. If you have children, it is better to clear out your baggage and to work out your issues with the other parent of your children than to leave that person and break up your children's family. ivorce is a pattern that wants to be cleared from our culture. It is complete in the lessons it has offered us. Choose to heal your marriage so your family can stay intact.
You have co-created the current state of your marriage. The next time you are starting to get at each other, stop yourself. Say to your spouse, "I love you and respect you. I don't want to do this any more. I want to create a loving and honoring relationship with you. What do you want?"
Creating healthy marriages creates healthy families. I have been married to my first and only husband for more than 20 years. We have four wonderful children. I speak from experience when it comes to what I believe it takes to keep a marriage thriving. If you give your marriage no attention, you will hardly have a marriage. If you give your marriage mediocre attention, you will have a mediocre marriage. If you make it a priority and give it regular, positive attention, it will thrive.
To support your marriage thriving, try doing all or some of the following:
1. Pray together, as a couple, out loud, each taking turns, at least once a day.
2. Tell your spouse all the wonderful things you wish they would say to you.
3. Create a new script for them by writing in detail what you believe your ideal companion would be like. Live by that script yourself.
4. Ask each other what one thing you say or do that hurts them deeply. Choose never to say or do it again.
5. Create "What We Want More of" lists. Ask the heavens to help you create them.
6. Stop talking about what's not working or what you don't want. Start talking about what's working and what you want more of.
7. Choose to say only positive things to others about your spouse.
8. If you find you create conflict at the same time or place in your home, start clearing the patterns by noticing it and stopping it. For example, if you always fight about money in the evening in the bedroom, agree not to recreate that again. Talk about money Saturday morning as you go for a walk together. Set an intention. It will be a harmonious, successful experience.
9. Have sex a lot because you enjoy it.
10. Play together often. Go on a date night alone once a week. Take a trip for just the two of you once a year.
Many people who have been married several years begin to take their marriage and their spouse for granted. Bad habits and lazy attitudes that would have never been acted out in their courtship days have taken over. How fresh and vital is your marriage? How much respect, tenderness, and unconditional love do you exemplify towards your spouse daily?
Marriage is a sacred relationship that demands constant attention on our part in order to thrive. Marriage is our modern-day temple which we enter into to bring up all of our issues so we can be purified and return to a state of wholeness. Add to the beauty and reverence of your marriage by treating yourself and your spouse like a god that you humbly revere and adore, because that is who you both truly are. Sanctify your marriage with God's help and it can be one of your greatest treasures on earth.
Disclaimer: All information on this site is provided for informational purposes only! By no means is any
information presented herein intended to substitute for the advice provided to you by any health care or other professional
or organization.
