Inward
and outward approaches to life.
Comparison
is one of the biggest models that most people constantly utilize within their everyday
lives. They utilize comparing to analyze
the world around them and to find how they fit within the accepted normality. Comparing could be anything to what material
things you have to physical differences or even to inner emotional
expression. We all see other people
different from ourselves and look at the links that make it this way.
Most often comparing
leads to continuous study into why things are not the same. It most often also leads to conflicts in
opinion and in differences, which can sometimes lead to growth in understanding
and development. Comparing is an outside
approach that makes us realize how different we are to another. We continually want to bring other people's
lives up to our own standards of what we find the accepted normality. We compare differences in living, our bodies,
our personalities, dreams, and beliefs, each having their own acceptance within
our own daily lives. The most valued comparisons are to do with the physical
world itself, mostly with how we handle ourselves within our own bodies.
Some might
say to another if you do not believe certain things than you will have
problems. Others value physical
attributes as important and say that if you are not thin or beautiful then you
should then go and have a face lift and workout. Each structure, however it is looked at, is a
form of comparing. We want to make
ourselves better purely from the fact that someone else is doing it a different
way, that we as a society idolizes for its idealized perfection.
The only
time that a person is not in comparison mode is when they are individualized,
and have an inside approach. It is then
that they do not seek to have acceptance off others. Most people who have an individualized
approach tend to be more self independent, introverted, steady in their
physical outward appearance, self loving and less conflicting towards others. They do not have to compete to get approval
and instead just enjoy life on the ideals that they have set only for
themselves, instead of pushing these concepts onto others.
Some might
see these type of people at times, brash, isolated, self willed and perhaps a
little too strong in their confidence.
Usually the people judging the individualized person are the one's who
value their lives on comparison models.
They cannot accept the other person's individualized approach and difference
in opinion, saying that they are not fitting into the norm and trying to
separate themselves from the social group.
They try to setup conflict but find it hard to reach the strong and
confident introverted person because of their ability to not care about
opinion.
Other
differences between each model can be seen in how we approach daily lives. One might get up in the morning and just comb
their hair and make sure they have appropriate clothes on for the day. The inward person does not have to always put
so much work into outward projection and how they look, they might even find
themselves beautiful in a more naturally appealing way, or inward way. They accept themselves in who they are and
try to enjoy life with what they have already to work with as their contributing
elements. Mostly these elements are to
do with their ability to accept others for who they are and to enjoy moments of
life without fear of conflict and being upset at another.
An outward person might on the other hand take their daily approach in
another way. They might get up early
before their day to prepare themselves to meet the standards of what other comparing
people find perfect. This can for some
take up to an hour or more. They then
proceed in their day with looking at others all the time, adjusting themselves
constantly, and thinking about everything they are doing and how they would be
seen by another. They often do not like
jokes or criticism and if they come across it during the day they will spend
the rest of the day thinking about it and wondering what they can do to better
themselves, or how they can get back at the other person for what they have
said to them.
Some people
might also at times depending on their situation in life go from one side to
the other when it comes to inward and outward perceptions of life. We do at times have moments of thinking about
the way we are perceived by others, and then other times where we do not care
and just have fun. We each choose what
is important to use on how to view the world around us. The strongest of these times, however, comes
from inside us. These are the moments
when we feel good and do not have conflict with others. When we can feel free and accepted in our
daily lives for who we are and what we do.
Sometimes
it can be very hard to be constantly working on bettering ourselves on
comparison models. It is the times that
we are confident and inward focusing that we have time to enjoy life for all
the good things it has to offer. We do
not have to worry about what others think and their expectations of our
approach to life. In this inward world
there is no conflict, only an inner peace, openness towards others, an ability
to change and accept our situation as well as to accept others, and last of
all, the ability to be ourselves, the unique creation that we are.
By Stacey T Pollock.
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