Some singles may wonder, "Why would I want to avoid sexual temptation? Are you insane?" You must answer the first question but the answer to the second is, ‘not at the moment'. We live in a sexually liberated world. There are no judgments coming from me about the choices an adult makes.
Some of us may have a voracious sexual appetite as intense as others having an avaricious desire for money. This article is not to lecture on my opinions about pre-marital sex; because of my faith, however, it is not condoned.
This article was prompted by an accident. While reacquainting myself with Yahoo's Instant Messenger to ‘chat' with a freelance IT person on the other side of the globe about a problem encountered, a chat request opened. I thought I clicked the X to do away with the request. I use my Yahoo email address for downloads on the Internet. I do not wish to be on everyone's mailing list so it is basically my catch-all spam account.
The Yahoo address was used when testing the message received by members who registered on the site. Checking to read the registration email auto response, there were thousands in the spam folder and hundreds in the inbox. One address and name among the hundreds stood out. It was an old friend. He had received my chat request and was "as excited as a kid on Christmas morning!"
Instantly, my mind was inundated with memories of the past. I read his email and wondered how I was going to handle this mistake. Nearly two years have passed seen the relationship abruptly ended because of something he did but was honest with me about when asked. I recall him saying, "I would have lied if I knew you would end our relationship." His honesty is one thing I adored about him.
For now, answering his email and telling him he was correct about the chat request being a mistake, has to be dealt with. I decided it was best to answer only the question about my well-being and comment on the growth and accomplishments of his children. I did not want to encourage him.
I have thought about him beyond that and have had to deal with the results. I have not yet apprehended but press daily toward the mark of a higher calling. As a believer, we must remember we are a work in progress and will be tempted.
What I tell myself is if I want to be weak, I will be weak. On the contrary, if I wish to be strong, I have the Comforter's strength to rely on and I am strong through Him. Try the following to see if any of it helps if you desire help with remaining chaste and sex-free as a single adult. This information could be useful for teens, as well.
Beware of the company we keep.
Why would we put ourselves in a situation that would compromise our values or tempt us beyond that which we cannot bear? A man or woman that is our "type" should be avoided in casual situations. If this is not possible we should keep our conversations strictly professional.
Beware of the information we download.
No, not downloads onto your hard drive but visuals or reading material into your mind. The idea is to resist that which you know is far too difficult for you to handle. On second thought, that could include your hard drive downloads, couldn't it?
Enlist the support of our friends.
Train them so they will not set us up with dates, including blind dates. We want to know we have friends who love us but also like us enough to help with any weakness we may have. It is a bonus when our friends possess strength in our weak places.
An idle mind is the devil's workshop.
Fill our minds with supportive information and not something that will work against us. It would not be wise perhaps, to watch movies or TV shows whose ratings are greater than PG. The scenes could stir yearnings that we are very well trying to avoid. Keep the mind occupied with self-help material.
Educate ourselves on the facts about sexually-transmitted diseases (STDs)
Knowing the incidence of AIDS /HIV virus is higher among heterosexuals than homosexuals could be good to know. Globally, 2.1 million people died of AIDS in 2007. Those same numbers of adults were newly infected with AIDS/HIV in 2007. A staggering 30.8 million adults are living with AIDS/HIV.
Sexually transmitted diseases (includes more than AIDS/HIV)are a major global cause of acute illness, infertility, long term disability and death, with severe medical and psychological consequences for millions of men, women and children. Adults for these statistics were defined as persons between 15 and 49 years of age.
To thine own self be true and prepared
Admitting our weaknesses to ourselves and being prepared when confronted are excellent ways to handle every challenge in life. If we are not honest with ourselves, we have already lost before we've begun. Another way to handle this is to have affirmations readily available to speak out loud. Try saying, "I am more than a conqueror. I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength." It works! For one thing, two thoughts cannot occupy the mind simultaneously. You could very well recite, ‘Jack and Jill went up the hill,' . . . perhaps not! That one pairs a boy and a girl, doesn't it? You could sing the Star Spangled Banner or your country's National Anthem. The idea is to preempt the tempting thoughts.
Get Married
Ha! That one was a bonus and thrown in just for fun!
Let's get serious again. If a lawyer can find an escape clause in situations, we can find an escape door. We must decide to take it. We must make the proper choices for the most favorable outcomes we desire. We should not want to cause harm to ourselves or anyone else.
Author's note: I am not a certified Relationship Therapist. I have shared from experience what has worked for me and feel qualified to offer these suggestions.
© 2008 Avis Ward of UCHM
