As a Spiritual Teacher and one on the path of Enlightenment, people always assume you don't require healing spiritually, emotionally, financially, or physically. Healing is a continual process. Transformation is a continual process. This is the beauty of the path of enlightenment, consciousness, and awakening; it is all continual. You are always becoming.
Yes, today, on Father's day, I received a healing for my own spirit. Growing up without my biological father for most of my life had been a difficult pain for me to overcome. It was not one of those situations where I didn't know him at all. I knew him. He knew me, but for him, his life and his family were somewhere else and I was out of sight and out of mind.
Even into my adult years, I would get extremely angry just thinking about every promise that he broke, every birthday call I never receive, and every major event in my life he missed. Did he love me? I always knew he did. However, in my mind, even as an adult, I wasn't always sure. However, on September 5, 2005. I knew he did. When I finally returned home after Hurricane Katrina, alive, weak, but alive, he was the first person to visit me. For the first time in my life, he reached into his pockets and gave me a gift.
Still, I didn't trust this new relationship. In fact, I didn't trust him at all. But like no other time in my life, he just continued being there for me. So, what was my healing?
It happened today, when I called him for father's day. This was the first father's day I ever called him since I was a kid. After sending letters and cards as a child and getting no response, I stopped trying at the age of 16. When I called today, he wasn't home. Suddenly, like a flash, I felt something I'd never felt for him before. I trusted him. I trusted that he would return my call.
You see, I always loved him. I couldn't even explain to myself why I did. Now, I understand why. When we suffer with the ego, we try so hard to live up to the image everyone else has created for us. We try desperately to become the "self" that everyone else says we are. I saw this in my father.
I didn't know the struggles he was facing in his life trying so desperately to hold together the family he had in his home. He didn't have anything left to give to me because he was so emotionally and spiritually depleted after trying so hard to maintain some sense of normalcy in his home. After his marriage failed and he (like my mother) became a single parent, he got it. He really got it. Raising his daughter without a mother changed his heart, his spirit, his mind.
That's the man, the father, I loved. Something in me knew he existed. No we don't have a huggy-kissy type of relationship, but there is respect and admiration there. Something we didn't have before. Now, my spirit is healed. I am healed because I don't feel that I have to guard myself from his love.
This healing has stretched forward to my relationship with my stepfather. For years, I would not allow myself to love or trust my step father because of my relationship with my biological father. I didn't want to "set myself up for disappointment." Now, I can love him for who he is without expecting him to be perfect.
Yes, Spiritual Teachers, Success Coaches, and Philosophers need healing too. As we learn we share, that is what makes us teachers. It's not that we don't make mistakes. We are teachers because as we learn from our mistakes, hurts, and pains, we share that knowledge and wisdom with others. Today, I received a healing that was 34 years in the making. It's my father's day miracle.
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About the Author
Carmellita M. Brown is a Visionary Spiritual Teacher, Wellness Coach, and Philosopher. As the instructor for Abundance Training 101, she teaches others the spiritual principles that govern wealth, success, peace, order, and wisdom. She is also the publisher of Headline Your Life.
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» left by Avis Ward(8,499) Avis Ward (121 days 8 hours ago.) "As we learn we share, that is what makes us teachers. It's not that we don't make mistakes. We are teachers because as we learn from our mistakes, hurts, and pains, we share that knowledge and wisdom with others." This is so very true, Carmellita. Because of its truth, we are all teachers but not necessarily as a professional. I am very happy for you and your father. This healing has to help you with personal relationships of any kind, especially with males. I'm delighted you've completely forgiven him and opened yourself to this healing. Good on you! I enjoyed reading your article. I pray it will bless others as it blessed me. Thank you for sharing it with us. I feel the affection will soon follow the trust. *smile* God speed!
» left by Carmellita M Brown(116) Carmellita M Brown (117 days 19 hours ago.)
It was my pleasure. God speed to you. And it has helped to heal all my relationships. Thank you for such kind words.
» left by Barbara Clark(438) Barbara Clark (115 days 16 hours ago.)
I am so happy for you and your father! When we forgive, we heal and allow a pathway of love to open up. How wonderful for both of you! Enjoy your time with each other from now on. There's no more looking back. Touching article. Respond to this comment
» left by Susan Thom(8,304) Susan Thom (115 days 3 hours ago.)
hi Carmellita,
this was not only a well written, interesting story, but one i can relate to.
i was 38 when i finally heard the words i was running from, and to, my whole life: "i love you, and i've always been proud of you." it was the beginning of all the positive changes in my life. and he was in the same house, so distance isn't really necessary. there was plenty of distance between the walls of our small home. thank you for sharing, and thank you for joining my fan club, i honestly appreciate it. keep writing,
my best regards,
sue thom Respond to this comment
» left by Anonymous (115 days 1 hour ago.)
Susan, that's so fascinating, my best friend Roslyn told me the same thing. She talked about how she was distant from her father although he was in the same house. She has began to make her peace with her relationship on a more spiritual level. Her father died while she was in college and she was unable to do make that peace face to face, however, through affirmative prayer and meditation, she has been able to make peace and this peace has lead to a change in all the relationships in her life. Thank you for sharing, it just goes to show you that inside every woman is a Daddy's girl.
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