It was lunch time and I was racing from one office to another to interview a sales candidate. As I drove, I scoured the businesses along the route for a restaurant. With less than thirty minutes, it had to be someplace quick. There! I spotted a pizza buffet, turned in and took the first available parking place.
Walking in the front door, I observed no line. Perfect. The limited time available would even work to my advantage because I wouldn't be able to fill my plate six times and overindulge. Reaching for my wallet, I approached the cash register.
"One buffet?" A young lady greeted me with a smile. I nodded and waited for a total. But to my surprise, she had one more question. "Senior?" She asked. "Excuse me?" I replied. "Are you a senior?" she repeated. I smiled and was about to explain that I had graduated years ago. Then her meaning hit me like an uppercut. She thinks I'm a Senior Citizen!
I told her I was not and then asked what would qualify as a "senior". "Fifty five" was her answer. She didn't realize it but, had the cutoff been sixty five, I would have had no choice but to punch a nineteen year old girl in the mouth. Instead I just mumbled "no, I'm not there yet."
The kid didn't intend to insult me. She had no way of knowing that her four words had turned a quick lunch into a mid-life crisis. As I gobbled down a salad and a few pieces of pizza, unusual thoughts scrolled through my mind. Hair color, Botox injections, tanning salons, new hair style, tooth whitening. Maybe zodiac jewelry and a Porsche! No, that's just not me.
It is wonderful that restaurants are willing to give retired people a break. I know my Dad used to get free coffee at his favorite fast food joint. But if you work for one of those well-meaning companies, consider the following advice:
Never ask someone if they are a senior. They will tell you and demand the discount if they want it. If they complain about not getting the discount, it's easy to apologize and say "oh I'm sorry. You look so young that I didn't think to ask!" Try not to sound too patronizing.
I'm glad I only had twenty minutes for lunch that day. And that I had to go straight into an interview that took my mind off graying hair and crows feet. Without the time constraints, that lunch hour may have included a chest waxing or tattoo.
What do you think? The next time someone asks the "S" question, would it be dishonest to answer with, " If you think I look old enough to qualify for the discount, then go ahead and give it to me."? I'm thinking that would be better than a punch in the mouth. And with the money I save, I can get Botox injections or a zodiac necklace!
Steve Radford was born in Virginia and currently resides in North Texas. He writes mostly about personal experiences that have shaped his view of the world.
» left by Teresa Ortiz(10,864) Teresa Ortiz (1 year 151 days ago.)
Steve, you had me laughing out loud!! What a crisis!! Your sense of humor just proves your not a gumpy old man! Thanks for the laugh and the good advice at the end of your tale. Blessings to you! Respond to this comment
» left by Avis Ward(11,265) Avis Ward (1 year 151 days ago.)
LOL - A masterpiece, Steve! It was a sucker punch, wasn't it? A hilarious true tale of the joys of maturing and acquiring wisdom. You could have had a senior moment and asked, "where am I?" Nothing like a youngster to splash you in the face with an overdose of reality, huh Steve? Welcome! Great article!
» left by Susan Thom(12,110) Susan Thom (1 year 151 days ago.)
hi steve,
ah, kids can't tell age. you certainly don't look like a senior citizen! this was a cute, well written article that made me smile. i was glad to read something of yours again. thanks for sharing,
best regards,
sue thom Respond to this comment
» left by Steve Radford(1,026) Steve Radford (1 year 150 days ago.)
Teresa, Avis and Susan... Thanks for reading and commenting. It took me a day or two to find the humor in my little encounter but encouragement like yours keeps me going, even if I do have one foot in the grave!
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» left by Robert Melaccio, Sr.(5,156) Robert Melaccio, Sr. (1 year 150 days ago.)
Yes it hurts. When i take my 94 year old mom they ask about my wife. Wow do I look that old or does she look that good? Hey I know better. Now in your case take the discount. Your picture says you are not but most of these younger ones think 30 is going, going gone. Like little kids will say, 30, "nobody's that old". Respond to this comment
» left by Steve Radford(1,026) Steve Radford (1 year 149 days ago.)
Robert, I know your Mom loved it when they made that mistake. I've had people think my wife was my daughter (she's a year older than me) which is just as bad I guess. It keeps us humble right? Thanks for commenting. Steve
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» left by Lorrie Davids(7,356) Lorrie Davids (1 year 149 days ago.)
Mr. Radford, (my mom taught me to address older people with the proper title) I laughed and laughed while reading your story. I haven't had anyone ask me that question...yet, but I'm sure it will happen before I am ready. Thanks for brightening up my day! Respond to this comment
» left by Barbara Fuqua from Roanoke, VA (1 year 132 days ago.)
Steve,
I pulled this article up and it is hilarious!! I laughed and laughed!! You are so talented, you need to write a book. Laughter is Good Medicine and we could all use a dose.
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